Intense Auburn

I Don't Drink....Wine....

2012-02-06T20:23:00.000-05:00

So for some reason I have stopped drinking. As of January 1st. No, it's not a resolution or anything, nor is there any point to it. I just stopped. Drinking. And I am no better or worse for it. Maybe my brain cells will start to grow back.

I have also cut down on the caffeine---less coffee and chocolate. You read that right. Less chocolate. I let myself have a few tiny bites a day and that seems to do the trick.

I have been wondering what the heck happened to winter. Not that I am complaining, but it seems a little odd to me that it has snowed maybe twice this entire winter and we haven't had any snow stay on the ground for more than a day or so. Really prevents fun stuff like sledding. But, as my son says, that he would like a winter where there was plenty of snow but it would be 75 degrees and sunny at the same time. Now that would be strange!

Your Phone Tastes Bitter

2012-01-20T07:39:00.001-05:00

I sat in a room with 4 other adults, and I was the only one not playing on an iPhone. They were all playing their "Hanging with Friends" game. I was silent. I just watched them. Is this the end of socializing as we know it? Or is this just a new kind of socialization? Are you out of the "clique" if you don't own an iPhone?

When I was a kid, I used to go to my friends houses after school to play or have them at my house. My boys play with their iTouch's at home. There is something wrong with that.

Handheld electronic devices have their place...but they need to be limited. I hear that some people are doing a new game at restaurants called the "Phone Stack" where everyone puts their cell phones in a pile on the table, and the first person to pick up their phone and use it has to pay the entire table's bill. I think this is a great idea. It is very annoying to me when people are looking down, playing with their Smartphones, when they are out to dinner with me. I understand exceptions, like when a spouse or sitter calls. But playing an online game? Really?

I find that the longer I go without having a Smartphone, the more bitter towards them I get. My boss asked me about how to send a picture from an iPhone yesterday and I quipped "I don't know, I don't have one".

Apparently I am of two minds here: I hate it when others are using their Smartphone, but am jealous at the same time. Would I be the same as them, constantly updating my FB status, playing games and apps all the live long day? I guess I won't know until I get one.

Until then, I'll just eat lemons.

The Bet

2012-01-19T10:00:00.000-05:00

My boys are like most kids their ages (9 and 11 years): they love t.v. and video games. I am pretty easy-going about the screen time. As long as their homework is done, I generally don't regulate how much they have. So, with that in mind, came their bet.

Last Saturday afternoon they made a bet with each other that they could each go without using any electronics the longest, and the person who broke it first had to pay the other person $5. Now, $5 may not seem a lot to most adults, but it is a lot to these kids. So, I figured that the bet would be lost the next day, because it was a Sunday and they'd be home bored. But I was wrong. They managed to drive me and their Dad crazy instead ("entertain us, entertain us"). After the umpteenth "I'm bored" I sent my older son to empty the dryer, my younger son to empty the dishwasher, and then saw that this bet could work to my advantage. Of course, I didn't tell them this.

Honestly, I didn't figure the bet would go more than 2 days. But it is still on, almost 5 days later! I am in disbelief! At this point, one child indicated that it wasn't even about the money anymore, it was about the "bragging rights" the winner would have. Yeah, that old sibling rivalry strikes again!

It makes me wonder how long I could go without any screen time (work excluded, of course). I am not sure I could live without being able to ~~stalk~~ follow my friends on Facebook.

UPDATE: The next morning one son woke with a fever & sore throat. Which means he stays home all day. Which means, nothing to do. I told him that he can watch t.v. and that won't count towards the bet. I mean, one of the perks of being sick & staying home from school is the watching t.v. part, right? I am a good mom still, right? Back me up here, people! lol

New Post/New Year

2012-01-11T17:11:00.000-05:00

I suck. There, I said it. But I am vowing to improve myself this year. Be a better person, get healthier, all that crap. Maybe even be less snarky *gasp*!

I understand that getting enough sleep is an important part of being healthy. So, with that in mind, I will get 12-15 hours of sleep a day, minimum. I will also eat healthier, starting with my new obsession, broccoli salad (broccoli slaw). I will eat at least 1/2 a bag a day...I am sure that all the broccoli and carrot vitamins offset the calories in the dressing, right?

And as for exercise, I do a lot of things around the office, like put together chairs and file folders which can be considered light exercise. I also carry heavy laundry baskets up and down stairs several times a week, which is like weight training.

I am also trying to reduce the stress in my life. I try to see a sneak preview movie once a week, which means I get away from the kids in the evening. I am also planning on getting one of those expensive "noise cancelling" headphones to wear around the house so I don't hear the whining and screaming by various members of my family.

So, what are you doing to improve yourself this year?

Real Steel!!!

2011-10-06T18:11:00.002-04:00

I was able to go to a sneak preview of the new Hugh Jackman film, Real Steel, last night. I went with the whole family since my boys, 9 & 11, both wanted to see it anyways. Frankly I had no idea what it was rated. I found out this morning that it is rated PG-13 for some violence (duh, it's a movie about robot boxing), intense action (duh again) and some language (which my children have already heard from me). But I am glad I didn't worry about the rating since I found nothing offensive.

This movie has it all. Drama, action, special effects, good acting, a hot actor (who said that?) and was partly shot right here in Detroit. It was fun recognizing many of the scenes and where they were shot. I cried during the movie, I cheered and clapped during the movie, and drooled a little too.

I felt the storyline was original. It was not something I had seen before. I really WANT to see robot boxing in real life now. During the beginning of the movie I asked hubby if the robots on the screen were real or computerized? I honestly could not tell. He said it was animatronics which I later confirmed.

It is interesting that in a movie about robots you can find a lot of heart too. And that is all I can say about that. My entire family loved the movie. And I would be surprised if you didn't.

Random Thoughts

2011-09-28T09:53:00.000-04:00

People are so stupid. Facebook has said time and time again that it won't charge to use its site. Get with the spam people....
The rain reflects my mood completely. Dreary, cold and wet. Well, maybe not wet.
Where do all the paperclips that I use in my office go? I go through a box a month!
And speaking of the office, I drink water out of a red plastic cup. I always leave the cup on my desk at the end of the day to be used again tomorrow (conservation, y' know...). But when I come in the next morning, my cup is gone. Why would someone throw out my cup?

Why is it that I only see Post Office trucks in my subdivision, and never on a main road? How do they get to my street? Fly in? Really...when was the last time you stopped at a red light next to a mailman?
It never ceases to amaze me what crap people post on their Facebook wall. For all to see? Hello, there is this handy dandy thing called Cut and Paste, and what you post spreads to 100x people!
I am no longer posting "Happy Birthday" wishes on FB friends walls. Sorry folks. Wait for the card to come in the mail instead.
There is a certain satisfaction when you find out that someone had blatantly lied to you. And they don't know that you know. A smugness, if you will. Happened to me recently, and now I know how this person really is. It is illuminating.
Now that I am a lurker on Facebook, it really shows me how meaningless it is. Although for some reason, I can't stop writing about it...

Fall T.V. Review

2011-09-27T10:05:00.002-04:00

Two and A Half Men? Didn't watch it with Sheen, not gonna watch it with Kutcher.

The Office: Jumped the shark, and when Michael Scott left, the show was over. Quit while you are ahead people.

The Simpsons: More of the same. The show has been on now for, what, 25 years?

I was watching some random comedy (Up All Night?) and there was actually a laugh track! I couldn't believe my ears! I mean really? Canned laughter? I thought that went out in the 80's? I turned it off instantly.

I tried watching "Ringer". Can you say too much music/not enough script? Boooring!

I don't watch Modern Family because I just don't think it's funny. And yes, I have watched it before.

Charlies Angels? Yeah, let's make a remake of a t.v. show that was made into movies and then back into a t.v. show. Not interested. I bet it will be canceled before Thanksgiving.

Fringe: I caught 10 minutes of the season premier and decided that it had jumped the shark. Just way too out there and way too uninteresting.

Glee may be the only show besides Family Guy that I watch this year. And Glee had better not jump the shark or I am gonna break the t.v.

The Playboy Club: I might have watched this had it been on HBO. But you know you aren't gonna see any T & A on network t.v., so what's the point of watching it? Oh yeah, for the stories!

I watched the first hour of Terra Nova and then went to bed (because I was tired), but luckily I DVR'd it. It is a little Jurassic Park, Lost and Land of the Lost mixed into one Sci Fi batter of gooeyness. I hope it keeps up the good writing and maybe I'll continue watching it.

And what about those awesome reality shows like Survivor and Dancing With The Stars? Did you know that those shows are scripted? You didn't? I feel sorry for you.

My goal this year? To stop watching t.v. altogether. It just makes me feel stupider than I am.

What do you watch? Why?

Status Updates 9/24/11- 9/25/11

2011-09-26T19:08:00.000-04:00

Went apple picking again. I don't think there is anything better than those fresh donuts. Mmm.

Picked too many apples. Now making apple pie and apple sauce. The house smells wonderful.

When are these kids going to bed? I want to finish the rest of the donuts...

Why does it seem like one week is a repeat of the week before? Why does it seem like one week is a repeat of the week before? Why does it seem like one week is a repeat of the week before? Why does it seem like one week is a repeat of the week before?

My cousin was in from Boston. We were talking about Costco (a local warehouse store here in Detroit) and she told me they have "BJ's" in Boston. I laughed pretty hard at that one.

Olga's Creations has opened their very own store and I went in. They have a large selection of other stuff besides cakes (muffins, donuts, cookies, cheesecake, truffles, cupcakes, etc). It was hard to choose something to eat for breakfast. I almost got one of each.

Facebook Has Made me a Lurker!

2011-09-25T19:17:00.000-04:00

Now that Facebook has this wonderful new "ticker" feature which shows any and all actions you perform on Facebook (i.e. Joy kissed John's ass; Joy likes Apple Pie), I am forced to be what I despise: a Lurker.

According to Wikipedia, a Lurker is "a person who reads discussions on a message board, newsgroup, chatroom, file sharing or other interactive system, but rarely or never participates actively." So now, I log onto Facebook to see what everyone is up to, but I don't actively participate anymore. And that bums me out.

I kinda feel like I am "sticking it to the man", but in actuality, I am just withdrawing myself socially, right?

Who wants their every move broadcast on the internet? Not me!

Fellow blogger HockeyDino says it better than me here and here. I like his comparison to the Death Star. The Imperial Army (i.e. Facebook) is trying to take over everything (be better than Google+, etc) that they take away your personal freedoms.

The only positive thing I can say about this is that it has forced me to blog more.

Boycott Facebook!

Google+

2011-09-23T09:10:00.000-04:00

So after declaring that I am boycotting Facebook, I had a number of people tell me I should use Google+ instead. I have been on Google+ for several months now, and find it confusing. When I first signed on to it, I did a status update or what I *thought* was a status update, and it emailed everyone on my contact list. After that happened, I just stopped using it. I will add people to my circles, but that is about it. I have gotten some total complete strangers adding me on Google+ and I have no idea how they found me or who they are, so I block them.

What I need is something simple. I don't want to have to *think* about my social networking, I just want to do it. You say I should use Twitter? You are probably right. But the fact is that I have been on Twitter for a few years and it just never caught on with me. It is good for certain things, like up to the minute news, but I don't find it good for connecting with people. Plus, most people I know aren't on it anyhow.

LinkedIn is of no use to me.

So now, how do I stay connected to friends and family?

Status Updates

2011-09-22T19:17:00.002-04:00

I am boycotting Facebook because I hate the ticker (and if you are reading this on my fan page, it is only because I have it automatically posting there).

So, here are my status updates for Sept 22nd:

To the old man using a cane: The correct thing to say when I hold the door open for you twice is "Thank you". Sheesh!

I would not hire someone with the last name "Crook" to work at any type of financial office. I mean really! If I had that name, I would change it immediately.

Cowboy boots on men is sexy...love that. The hat, too. And chewing on a piece of straw. Mmmm.

How often does Twitter change its program? Like, never!

Letterman is the Dick Clark of late night t.v. That man never changes.

I think Mark Zuckerberg is more powerful than anyone realizes, and that scares me.

To the nice person who wrapped up my leftovers yesterday at the restaurant: Did you think I was gonna eat that big pile of onions that I had carefully picked OUT of my food and put off to the side? Sheesh!

I use my reading glasses at work for the computer, but not at home. Why is that?

Has anyone out there gotten microderm abrasion on their face? Just the name alone scares me: Abrasion. On my face. Like, ouch! Feedback, please.

What?

2011-09-14T21:00:00.000-04:00

After going to my internist for my regular checkup and complaining that I was all congested and could hardly hear out of my right ear, I was told I had fluid in my ears. So I scheduled an appointment with an E.N.T. since my internist is an idiot.

The E.N.T. sprayed some medicine in my nostrils for the congestion then told me I didn't have fluid in my ears. He wanted to do a hearing test. They put me in a little soundproof room and put earphones on me. They told me to say "yes" when I heard a beep. They started with my good ear. I said "yes" regularly. OK, let's switch to the ear in question. I started out with some "yes's", then I had to ask if they were still doing the beeps. I knew in the pit of my stomach something was wrong, I should have been saying "yes" as much as I did with my left ear.

The audiologist came in to speak with me and asked me how long I'd had the problem with my right ear. I shrugged and told her a few years or so. She started talking about hearing aides and how one would be helpful for me. I was still digesting the fact that I had "moderate to severe" hearing loss in one ear.

My E.N.T wasn't sure how I got the hearing loss and told me it could be from one of three possible things: trauma to the ear, an infection in the ear, or a tumor pressing on the ear. Of course I was immediately convinced it was a tumor. He ordered me to get an MRI to rule it out.

I had never had an MRI before and was very nervous about it. Not about claustrophobia, because it was an "open" MRI, but just because I didn't know what to expect. They told me it would be loud and put headphones on me with some music. I cannot begin to express how loud that shit was. Boom Boom Boom in my ears. I definitely heard THAT! And if I wasn't deaf in both ears, I knew I would be after that test!

Then I had to wait for the results. The MRI technician told me my doctor should have results in 3-4 days. After 3 days I called my doctor. They didn't have the results. They said to wait about a week before calling. I decided to call back 2 days later. Still no results. They told me that if something bad had shown up on the MRI, I would be notified sooner than if nothing was found. I didn't find that comforting.

So after a week I got the results which were negative. So the doctor said he doesn't know why I have the hearing loss, which is reassuring. I am now looking into getting a hearing aid. I don't know how senior citizens can afford them...they are like $2,000 each!!!!

The good part is, I have an excuse when I forget something that someone tells me. I just say I didn't hear them. I also sleep on my side, with my bad ear facing up, so that I can't hear hubby snoring.

Just remember, if you see me in person, to talk to me on my left side. Thanks in advance.

Do I look like a Doctor to you?

2011-09-12T11:26:00.000-04:00

So, within the last year I've needed glasses and a hearing aide. I might as well be proactive and get a walker right now, huh?

I love to complain even though it serves no positive purpose. I am good at it too. I can complain about just anything. Or nothing.

I love it when I go to see a doctor about a problem, they run some tests and tell me to schedule a follow up appointment in a few weeks. So I do that, go back in a few weeks, and the nurse asks why I am there. I want to say, look in the file, lady! The doctor told me to make a follow up appointment and come back. Why do I have to explain this to them? Can't they read the file? Isn't that what I am paying them the big bucks for?

A few weeks ago I had my annual physical. My blood pressure was through the roof, when usually it is 110/70. My doctor looks at me and says "Why is your blood pressure so high?". I almost laughed, I mean, she is the doctor, not me! I didn't know I had high blood pressure, let alone know the REASON!

A Facebook friend of mine recently posted that, when your ear itches, it means someone is talking about you, and when your palm itches, it means you are coming into money. I asked what it means when your privates itch, and she told me to get some ointment for that.

I really dislike my internist. So I have decided to skip her and go straight to specialists instead. I have an Ob/Gyn, E.N.T, allergist, gastro, dermatologist, orthopedist, foot doctor, dentist and shrink. Do you think I have too many doctors?

That's Why They Call It That!

2011-08-05T09:02:00.001-04:00

Stalking: What I do to my hubby on Facebook. I check his page everyday to see who he is commenting on, what he is liking, what pages he is a fan of, etc. You know, because we don't TALK to each other.

Parenting: What I do when I am not on Facebook.

Working: What I do when I am not on Facebook and not at home. I do it for the money.

Sex: Something you do on Saturday nights, or Sunday mornings.

Eating: That's my food. Do.Not.Touch.My.Chocolate!

Sharing: I learned this from my kid when he entered preschool.

Music: I like listening to it except when it comes from my husband's body.

Growing Older: When your doctor orders a bunch of tests with weird acronyms names, like CAT scan or MRI. When you say, hey, I'm not old enough to have that, but then you realize you are.

Playing a game: What your kids force you to do instead of watch t.v.

Exercise: Sounds like exorcism for a reason. I avoid at all costs.

Blogging: A complete waste of time.

Money: Something I never quite put my hands on. It is plastic or electronic and gets transferred from me to other places quickly.

Hot as Hell!

2011-08-01T20:14:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I went with my family to the Detroit Tiger's game down at Comerica Park. It was a 1:05 pm game. We got there a little early because my nephew was going to sing the National Anthem with his temple choir. We stayed on the first level so that we could get a better view of him when he sang. Our seats were on the 3rd floor balcony by 3rd base. Not bad seats, really.

But there was the heat. I heard the announcer say that the game time temperature was 87 degrees. Not a cloud in the sky.

If it had been a 7pm game, I might have enjoyed myself. Don't get me wrong, I was happy for my nephew and got a kick out of seeing him sing out on the field. But, after that, it all went downhill.

I have only been to Comerica park a few times...and I do not know my way around. I had no idea how to get up to the 3rd level. The signs there are for shit. Oh, we found a ramp. The longest fricking ramp in the universe of ramps. It took us like 20 minutes to climb this stupid ramp (in the heat). Finally, we got to the 3rd floor. Walked, walked walked to our section. Got to our section, walked up steps and more narrower steps, then climbed over some people, and there were our seats! Being plastic, they were hot as hell to sit on. I actually spilled water on mine to cool it off. We sat down. I started to melt. A vendor came by with some frozen lemonades. I bought 2 for the kids. I tried one and it helped cool me down. I got one too.

We sat through about 3 innings. My kids were actually being very well behaved. Then my oldest asked politely if we can go into the shade. I said YES enthusiastically and we left our seats and went to a bar down on the first level where some other of our family members were. In the shade. Ahhhh....shade.

My nephew and his family got better seats on the first level. I walked over to discover that his seats were in the shade. Nice. His seats cost about $32 more each than mine. At that moment, I realized that yes, money does buy happiness. If I had those seats, I would have been cooler and happy to watch the game. Instead, I didn't watch the game and was a hot mess.

Did I mention seeing people throwing up because of the heat? And being given ice packs?

Play Ball!

Heaven knows I want to die now...

2011-07-31T19:44:00.000-04:00

So after seeing The Smiths United, I realized that I had no Smiths CD's in my collection (had their albums on vinyl only....young ones, do you know what vinyl is?). So I went to my trusty Amazon.com website and ordered a greatest hits 2 CD set.

I've been listening to the songs for a few days now, and I seriously want to slash my wrists. With lyrics like "I was looking for a job and now I've found a job, and Heaven knows I'm miserable now" and "Sing me to sleep, and then leave me alone, Don't try to wake me in the morning 'cause I will be gone.." I wonder how I ever could have listened to this as a teenager without seriously offing myself.

I am all for heartfelt soulful music. I love emotional crap. But it isn't just one sad song...it's ALL of them! One after another. And the thing I don't understand is how the lead singer, Morrissey, can still be alive after singing about this shit so long.

AM I old? Should I turn the music down? Go into therapy? What?

The Smiths United

2011-07-28T22:01:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of seeing a great cover band in concert. They are The Smiths United, they cover The Smiths, and you can "like" them on Facebook. A friend of mine told me about the concert and it was at a local club, so me & the hubs went.

It was a small venue and we got a table near the stage. There were 2 bands on before The Smiths United. I didn't care for either band much and can't even remember their names. As I was wandering around the bar, I was introduced to "Morrissey", the singer who looks like and sings like Morrissey in The Smiths United. I was geeked that I got to meet this guy.

But really wowed me was when the band got up on stage. If you closed your eyes, you couldn't tell the difference between this cover band and the real Smiths. It was amazing. The band played the songs perfectly and the lead singer sounded exactly like Morrissey. I was blown away.

Back in my youth I had owned several of The Smiths albums. I was able to dance and sing along to the first 10 or so songs they played. Then they started playing some songs I was unfamilair with, and it was getting late, and I'm old, so we left. But I would see them again in person in a heartbeat. Highly recommended for a walk down youth lane.

Out of sight

2011-07-24T21:01:00.000-04:00

I think when you don't blog for a while, people forget about you. Out of sight, out of mind.

I forgot myself. Or more exactly, I don't know who I am.

I forgot how some things feel.

I don't usually think very much.

I keep busy.

I bake pies. They are yummy.

There is a science to picking berries. Got to get them at the exact right ripeness or they aren't good.

I could pick berries for a living.

However, I am not a migrant worker.

I am here and now.

You are lost and gone.

I need a book to read.

I like books about China and Japan. I want to be a geisha girl.

Humidity is my enemy.

I probably don't read your blog.

I want to try absinthe.

You can make a hard decision and live to regret it.

Usually plans fail, or at the very least, don't go as planned.

You can make almost anything sound dirty.

I believe in signs, both good and bad.

I have been having lots of nightmares lately. Must be the berries.

I am in love with Louis C.K., the comedian. I think he is more accessible than Johnny Depp, right?

I mean, I have a chance with him, right?

I like jumping off the diving board to get into the pool. It is the quick and easy way to get totally wet. I hold my nose when I jump so I don't get water up my nose. Nothing more annoying than that...except maybe this post.

I said it so you don't have to!

Tales from Camp

2011-07-23T22:12:00.000-04:00

I did not cry when the kids got on the bus and left me. Really...I didn't.

But while waiting for their bus to pull in, I started to cry. And when the bus got there? Cried like a baby, screamed where is he? Where is he? And didn't stop crying until the second boy was off the bus and in my arms. Sometimes crying is a good thing.

Things my kids learned at camp:

In the car on the way home they were discussing asking a girl to a dance. Dean said that he asked someone. Mitchell asked him how he knew the girls. Deans reply was "my friend really knows how to talk to the ladies".

Dean said he learned lots of new words. Some started with "f". And here I thought I taught him all those bad words!

When we got home, Dean ran up to the house and hugged the bricks. Then he declared that he is going to "hump the house" and began to do just that.

When the boys were getting ready to shower, Dean declared that he has a "boner" and laughed.

I asked Mitchell why his teeth were so yellow. He said offhandedly, "Oh yeah, I lost my toothbrush and toothpaste a week ago".

We went to the movies. During it, Dean told me he had to "take a crap" and went to the bathroom. He never said that before camp. He also has a new phrase which he said is OK to say because it has no swear words. It's "shut the fricking hell up".

About 1/2 hour after the kids got home I started to hear the arguing again, over what you ask? The t.v. remote, of course.

How long until I send them away again?

give me sympathy

2011-07-12T19:28:00.000-04:00

So the kids have been away for 15 days now. Yeah, I'm counting. And I miss the shit out of them. Real bad. So people tell me that they are having a blast, they are enjoying themselves, I shouldn't feel bad. But how can I not MISS them? Huh? Tell me that???? It's my own fault for sending them? Yes, it is. But it doesn't change how I feel. I am about 2 seconds away from being one of those parents who call the camp just to check on their kids.

So people have said that time without our kids is like a honeymoon for me and the hubs. Yeah, a honeymoon without the preceding expensive wedding and reception with open bar, the diamond ring and presents. Just like a honeymoon, except we are not traveling anywhere and I am still doing laundry. Uh huh.

And while I am bitching, I am really annoyed by perpetually positive people on Facebook. Because their lives are perfect, and if I comment something even a little negative, it's "cheer up...see the silver lining" etc. I need to borrow a fork from someone.

The grass is always greener.....I've always thought that summer was my favorite season, but this year, for some reason, the heat is really getting to me. It just pushes me down and saps my energy and I sweat disgustingly. The evenings have been perfect though, a little cooler and I can breathe...but the days really get to me. I need shade. I saw someone at an art fair holding an umbrella, and I thought that was a great idea. Now I just need an umbrella.

I have been seeing many sneak preview movies lately. The thing about going to a sneak preview is that you need to get to the theatre early since they hand out more passes than there are seats. So depending on the movie, I may get to the theatre 1 to 1 1/2 hours earlier than start time. I try to bring a book to read, but sometimes I just sit or stand there, waiting. I wonder if it is really worth it? Isn't time money? For the cost of the ticket ($10), I need to give up time that I could have spent working or doing something else productive. But I am a Jew, and it is really hard for us to pass up free shit. So I go. Tonight, I am getting to the theatre 3 hours (yes 3 hours) early to see the final Harry Potter movie. For this movie, going is really about bragging rights (I saw the movie before you did, ha ha ha ha ha!).

I'll let you know if I make it into the theatre. Until then, if you have kids, hug them tight. I sure wish I could hug mine.

Empty Nest!

2011-06-29T06:43:00.000-04:00

My kids have left for overnight camp for 3 1/2 weeks. Yes, for the next 24 days, I am alone with my husband. The thought of this did scare me, but as it turns out, it is pretty nice. We can do whatever we want, wherever we want, if you know what I mean.

So I get many questions about what I am going to do with all my free time. Free time? Hello people, I still have to WORK. OK, but yeah, I do have more free time. Yesterday I came home from work and took a nap. It was wonderful. I had a late dinner out with the husband. That was nice too. No whiny kids asking when dinner is and telling me they're hungry.

I can do the things that I haven't had time to do, like take yoga classes and sell stuff on Ebay. I am also going to sift through the kid's stuff and get rid of the junk. (Mom, where is ### toy? I can't find it! It was my favorite!)

People want to know if we are going to take a trip when the kids are gone. I say, why? We don't have to leave our house...the kids have left us. And I enjoy the silence. I don't feel the need to "get away".

How long until I miss my kids? Well, about 2 seconds after their bus pulled away. Does that answer your question? But missing them doesn't mean I am not going to enjoy myself while they're gone. I just have to remember to write them every once in a while.

Party, anyone?

In a Linkin Park Kinda Mood

2011-06-16T20:34:00.000-04:00

Burning in the Skies

I used the deadwood to make the fire rise
The blood of innocence burning in the skies
I filled my cup with the rising of the sea
And poured it out in an ocean of debris
Oh

I'm swimming in the smoke / of bridges I have burned
So don't apologize / I'm losing what I don't deserve
What I don't deserve

We held our breath when the clouds began to form
But you were lost in the beating of the storm
And in the end we were made to be apart
Like separate chambers of the human heart
No

I'm swimming in the smoke / of bridges I have burned
So don't apologize / I'm losing what I don't deserve
It's in the blackened bones / of bridges I have burned
So don't apologize / I'm losing what I don't deserve
What I don't deserve

I'm swimming in the smoke / of bridges I have burned
So don't apologize / I'm losing what I don't deserve
The blame is mine alone / for bridges I have burned
So don't apologize / I'm losing what I don't deserve
What I don't deserve

I used the deadwood to make the fire rise
The blood of innocence burning in the skies

My Music Man

2011-05-26T07:59:00.000-04:00

My first born just played in his school's orchestra concert last night. I love hearing him practice these songs, but seeing him perform with hundreds of other students was amazing! I am such a proud mama! I cried when they played "Somewhere over the rainbow".

No, I'm not Negative. I was Just Born This Way.

2011-05-23T19:29:00.000-04:00

Just shut the fuck up. Yeah you.

Down on myself...all the time.

Never seem to make the right decisions.

Once I make a decision, I really should do the opposite. Why haven't I learned this?

Being chastised for not being there.

Can I clone myself now please?

Why can't 2 hours be 2 hours rather than 2 minutes?

Why does time always go slower at work?

I would trade places with you in a heartbeat.

Children should never have to suffer.

I want my childhood again...when my only responsibility was homework.

It stormed today and I wanted to run in it...but was wearing my work clothes (and was at work).

Why do adults put down children?

I forget things these days...and cannot keep a list for everything.

Nobody notices.

Sometimes I don't wear makeup to work.

Sometimes I like tomatoes on my sandwich and sometimes I don't.

My problems pale in comparison to yours, as you always tell me.

I try to keep my mouth shut, but you gotta release the steam sometimes.

I cry into my pillow.

I hug my pillow like a safety blanket. It is soft and squishy.

My kids tell me they love me...and I tell them I dropped them on their head as a baby.

Cell phones don't cause rudeness...people cause rudeness.

I want to go to Europe where I can get lost...there are lots of countries there.

I have never been able to speak French. I can french kiss really well though.

I bite my cuticles.

The Intense Auburn is fading, my gray is showing, and I don't give a crap.

Can I borrow a cigarette from ya?

Can you give me a referral on a reliable Hit Man? Why? None of your fucking business!

I will never have a pet dog or cat. Never.

I will never go to my prom.

I like the thought of my sons becoming psychiatrists or musicians.

I don't have time to read, and because of Facebook, I cannot read more than a few sentences without getting bored.

If I can't Google it, it doesn't exist.

I hate businesses that don't have their own websites. Big pet-peeve.

Especially restaurants, who should always have a menu online for people to look at.

I always raise an eyebrow when I see people carrying $100 bills on them.

Some Random Crap

2011-05-16T19:41:00.001-04:00

I would delete some of my Facebook friends, but I am at 666 friends, which I think is very, very cool.

---------------------------------------------

I don't like my sons soccer coach. He he started to really pick on my son. It was so bad during one game, that my son started to cry, which he NEVER does, not like some of those namby pamby mamas boys out there. No, he is tough, and it takes a lot to get under his skin. I hugged and kissed him after the game, but I know this experience will only make him stronger (I hope).

Same son as above had an outdoor away game which was about 45 minutes away. The game started at 4:30, and it had been raining the entire day. The coach for the home team did not call off the game due to bad field conditions, thus, we had to play, outside, in the rain, on a muddy field. I was not happy. I was surprised that most of the team actually showed up. If my kid comes down with a cold or pneumonia in the next couple of days, I am gonna be really pissed.

------------------------------------------

I like going to fancy restaurants which ask you if you would like a black or a white napkin. Classy!

-------------------------------------------

It is all in the details, people. I recently stayed in a hotel which used to be the Hilton and is now called The Met. I stayed there because I got a Groupon deal for it and I wanted to surprise hubby for our anniversary. Well, it was pretty obvious to me that it was no longer The Hilton. There were stains and burns in the carpeting, the paint was peeling, there were holes in the walls, the wallpaper was from 1980, and so on. The place had not been renovated since it was purchased from The Hilton, apparently. The room was very warm when we checked in, and stayed warm even after turning the fan on "cool" setting. In the morning as we were leaving, the elevators were broken! I have to admit, I liked the bed pillows, and the coffee maker in the room. Those were the only positives about the place.

The Groupon deal included a free buffet breakfast. You get what you pay for. The breakfast was beyond disgusting. The waitress waiting on us did not speak English or understand what I was saying either. Literally the only thing I enjoyed was the coffee and the company.

mmmmm Flemings!

2011-05-15T15:27:00.000-04:00

Recently took the hubby to Flemings Steak House for our anniversary dinner. First time going there (had some gift certificates for the place). The ambiance was very upscale and nice. Looking around I was amazed at how many people brought their kids to a place like this, where entree's averaged about $30 each, ala carte. I was just thankful that the kids were well behaved.

Anyhoo, we decided to both get the meal for 2, which included a spring salad, Chateaubriand, lobster en fuego, mashed potatoes, green beans and a pineapple flan dessert. The salad was a cornucopia of different flavors! There was a dried tomato mixture with chunks of roasted garlic with it that was so amazing! The filet was prepared as we ordered it (medium) and came with zip sauce. I was in heaven. The lobster was a little spicy but very favorable and yummy. The potatoes and green beans were delish. The dessert was served warm with a small scoop of ice cream on top. It was a top notch meal.

Our service was excellent too. The waitress was very attentive and did the "crumb clearing" thing after each course which really impressed me. I will definitely go back there for another special occasion. I just wish they were a little less pricey so I could go more often.

What he wrote, made me cry...

2011-05-08T10:03:00.000-04:00

This is a poem my younger son, almost 9 years old, wrote for me for Mother's Day. He did this at home because he wanted to, not at school as a project.

TOOTSIE ROLL

Dear Mom,

You are the soul of my heart.

You provide me food, water, shelter.

You cook the best meals every day.

You take very good care of me when I'm in desperate need.

I will never be able to live without my Mom because you are great, awesome, interesting, loving, caring, kind, sweet and most of all, my Mom.

Love you,

your sweetheart,

Dean

This is the letter he wrote for me for Mother's Day at school:

Dear Mom,

I love you with all my heart! When you make a picture your artwork is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my whole entire life. When you are out of town I am so sad. I want to cry my heart out. You help me with my homework anytime, anywhere. You try the best to keep me safe. When you make any dessert it blows my taste buds to outer space. I want you to have the best Mother's Day too.

Love,

Dean

20/20

2011-04-05T07:52:00.002-04:00

About a year and a half ago, I was getting headaches. I went to my internist who ruled out malfunctioning thyroid or brain tumors. So I went to get a vision exam. It was my first eye exam as an adult. They said I had slight astigmatism in one eye and said I could wear reading glasses.

I bought a pair of reading glasses and hated them. I didn't wear them. They annoyed me.

Flash forward to present day. Still having the headaches. I have trouble driving at night. I almost ran over a shopping cart because I couldn't see it. And the kids refuse to ride in the car at night if I am driving. Time for another exam.

I went to a different opthamologistt this time, just because I wasn't impressed with the other one. I made the appointment at 9 am in the morning. I was warned by my mom that my vision would be blurry for hours afterward so I should schedule in the afternoon instead. I ignored her.

I had the regular exam. The assistant asked if I was having any problems so I told her. She said "well, that starts happening to people your age". I wanted to hit her. YOUR AGE? I am only 41, bitch!

She put the drops in my eyes and put this probe thing up to my eyeball which I didn't like at all. Which looks better, 1 or 2? 2 or 3? I don't know...I can't tell the difference. 3 or 4?

So after she did the test she told me that I could use a prescription for my eyes. But she wanted the doctor to confirm. He came in and said that he agreed that I would benefit from prescription glasses. I asked what vision I had now. He said I still have 20/20 vision, but the glasses would help me have better 20/20 vision, would help my eyes when they are tired, and would help me driving at night. He said that the next thing that will go is my reading...and eventually I will need help with that as well. I wasn't surprised. Both my parents wear glasses.

He checked for eye diseases and everything looked great. Well, that's a relief. At least I have something to look forward to in my old age, huh?

I left the office with sunglasses on and slightly blurry vision. I felt fine enough to drive, but I didn't know how I would function at work in front of a computer. So I went to the eyeglass store first. I picked out a pair of funky glasses. The saleslady told me it would take a week to get in. A week? Then she checked and said they have the lenses and they should be ready by tomorrow afternoon. Cool. Then she showed me the bill and I had a heart attack.

Later that afternoon I got a call and my glasses were in! Now that's service! I was excited to pick them up. I got them and ran some errands. Then I came home and my younger son tells me he dislikes the glasses. He said I should have gotten a more expensive pair that looked better. I quickly had hubby take a picture of me so I could post it on Facebook (no, I am not an attention whore...uh no). People seemed to like them. OK.

I don't have to wear the glasses all the time, but I prefer to. I don't like the sensation of my eyes adjusting when I take off my glasses. I guess only time will tell if I stick with these or not.

Why Not Complain About It?

2011-03-27T19:31:00.001-04:00

I am a complainer. Blame it on my Jewish upbringing. I like to complain. But it bothers me when others do it.

So I post a complaining status update on Facebook, and I get comments from people who are worse off than I am. For instance, I posted that I really wanted someone to bring me a soy latte. My relative commented that she wanted her son discharged from the hospital. Touche'!

I feel like I really can't complain anymore, since I broke up with my therapist. He is the only one who would listen to my complaints and not try to one-up me. You know how it is, when you complain that you have a headache, and your girlfriend complains that she hasn't slept for the last 3 nights because of her kids. Kinda makes you feel stupid about complaining.

Well, I always have my blog in which to complain in. So here we go.

I hate going to shopping fundraisers because you feel completely obligated to buy something. Even something you'll never use or wear.
I am annoyed that I submitted a post to another website and have not received a response to it yet. And I know the person whose website it is. Can you say "rejection"?
I am so sick and tired of Facebook, but people get mad when I try to deactivate.
I don't like talking on the phone. Everything you need to know about me, you'll learn from my facebook updates, texts or emails.
I am so over winter already. Bring on the warmth. And no, a sunny but cold day doesn't count. It has to be warm too.
I hate homework. And I am not talking work that I bring home. I am talking about my kids homework which they can't seem to do without my help. I have GRADUATED already! I put in my time! Leave me the heck alone! No, I don't know math!
I need another vacation. Without the kids this time.

I guess that is all for now. What is your biggest complaint?

Finally a Psychiatrist who Tells It Like It Is!

2011-03-21T19:58:00.000-04:00

That Could Have Been Me!

2011-03-17T20:00:00.001-04:00

We have all heard and seen images from the devastation that occurred recently in Japan. If you haven't heard about it, you must be living in a cave somewhere in the remote part of Tennessee. Anyhoo, it spurred a discussion between HockeyDino and I (see his vlog below), about how the media handles coverage of news.

Is it news when they interview crying people who just lost their homes and businesses? Is it news showing when a family is reunited after tragedy? I say yes. People are interested in other people. How else do you explain Lindsay Lohan's popularity?

Besides for reporting the facts about the tsunami hitting Japan, and the subsequent meltdown of their nuclear facilities, I want to hear how the people are handling it, because it could have been me. Never mind the fact that I don't live on an island or on a fault line (but I do live near a nuclear reactor), I could be one of those people drowned, homeless or exposed to radiation. And that touches me on an emotional level. It keeps me glued to the news coverage.

I haven't been able to ignore it. Plus, did I mention one of my roommates in college was a transfer student from Japan? Miwako, her name was. That gives me a personal tie (sort of) to what is happening there. We didn't keep in touch, unfortunately. But I can't help but think of her and wonder if she was affected by the tsunami. Has her house washed away? Is she still alive?

I am not saying the news media is perfect (FAR from it, sorry cousin Ed), but just reporting the facts is not reporting the entire story. People can have family and friends affected by an event. And with all the negative events happening in this world, it is nice to hear a happy story, even if it is personal.

P.S. I use Ibuprofen, not Midol. Thanks in advance.

The Color on the Box was Wrong

2011-03-14T19:43:00.000-04:00

I've been using Garnier Nutrisse haircolor for a while now. I used the color Intense Auburn, #69 Sweet Pepper. I have loved the color for its staying power. It didn't fade as quickly as other haircolor products like L'oreal and Clairol. It was easy to apply and I liked it.

So I decided I wanted to try a new color. I wanted to go burgundy. So I picked the Garnier Nutrisse shade which was burgundy...Deep Burgundy, #42 Black Cherry. The color on the box was pretty and a little darker than the Auburn, but I was OK with that. What I didn't know, was that the operative word in that color description was "black".

I applied the color as normal. After washing it out, it looked very dark. My roots were purple (where the gray used to be) which I thought was very awesome. But as my hair dried, it became apparent that it was a shade of black, with deep purple highlights.

I went black once. It looked so bad on me, my best friend told me I looked like shit. So I never did black again. Until now. And I feel like shit. And no matter how much I "wash, rinse, repeat", it will be this way for 4-6 weeks!

So thanks Garnier Nutrisse, because of your misleading color, I need to wait at least a month to be red again.

Beware Cantina Diablo!

2011-03-14T05:59:00.000-04:00

So about a week ago, I wrote that one of my pet-peeves was restaurants that didn't take reservations for large parties (let's say 12 people). At that time, I knew that I'd be going to a restaurant with 12 people without a reservation but which offered call ahead seating. I had a bad feeling about it to begin with, and should have followed my gut, because the experience that followed sucked balls.

My girlfriend had called the restaurant -Cantina Diablo- about 3 weeks before we wanted to go to try and make a reservation. At that time they said they did not take reservations but if we called 1 hour before arriving, we should have no problem getting a table. She asked if she should call more than 1 hour in advance and they told her no. Well, last night she called 1 hour in advance and was told the wait would be at least 1 1/2 hours. At that point, we should have gone somewhere else, but because there were so many people meeting there, we didn't.

We got there and the front of the restaurant (the waiting area) was jam packed. I would have gotten a drink from the bar, but there was a line in front of the bar for drinks! You couldn't just walk up and get a drink. It was the worst set-up I have ever seen. Plus they lost money since I didn't want to wait in line like at the DMV!

We waited and waited. And waited. There was basically no seating in the waiting area. Finally, we are told that they can seat us quicker by splitting us into 2 tables. WTF? We waited almost 1 1/2 hours after getting to the restaurant (2 1/2 hours from the time we "called ahead") just to be split up? I was furious!

We were finally seated at a booth which was probably meant for 4 people, so the 6 of us had to cram in. The hostess did not give us menus. Our waiter came by to give us greasy chips and salsa and take drink orders. About 10 minutes later we finally got menus. My menu was dirty and sticky, and I had to use a wipe to clean my hands after touching it. Oh, and did I mention that she did not bring enough menus? She was short one.

The waiter came back with our drinks and told my hubby that they didn't have strawberry daiquiris. WTF? One of the things this restaurant is known for is its massive drink menu. And my friend ordered a Mojito, which wasn't very good because it was made with corn syrup rather than sugar cane which authentic Mojitos are made from. Drink Fail!

We placed our orders. In the back of my mind I figured that they'd all be messed up. On that one thing alone, they did not screw up. There was no salt or pepper on our table. I don't think I have ever been to an eatery which didn't have these BASIC condiments on the table. You could get corn tortillas instead of flour tortillas with your meal, but their corn tortillas were about 1/3 of the size, which we all thought was extremely strange, especially when you are trying to make a fajita out of it.

While we were eating, the hostess came by with the menu she had forgotten earlier. No, this is not a joke. It really happened. I laughed so hard at her utter incompetence.

My food was actually pretty good, I cannot complain about that. But I could get the same thing somewhere else. Lesson learned was to always make a reservation with a big group of people. And don't go back to Cantina Diablo!

Finding the Holy Grail of Shoes

2011-03-11T17:26:00.000-05:00

Last night at the mall I found the Holy Grail of shoes. That's right. Light up sneakers in my size. I was ecstatic!

I have been saying for years how it is SO UNFAIR that kids can have shoes that light up, but adults can't. Then I thought, hey, my feet are small enough to fit in a girl's size. So I wandered into the (kids) store which was selling Sketchers and hit the mother-load. They had many different styles and colors to choose from. And besides from lighting up, they had lots of color and bling on them. I literally was jumping up and down in the store. The saleswoman got my size from the back and I tried them on. They fit perfectly! SOLD!

Needless to say, when I got home I wanted to show everyone my new shoes. My husband looked at them disapprovingly and said something about me "being 41 years old". My son looked at them and exclaimed "Give them to Abby (my 6 year old niece),, she'll love them". I don't understand the opposition to me wearing them. Yes, they are gaudy. Yes, they light up. But that is the fun of it. I don't want to be one of those old ladies in their "comfortable" loafers!

So tonight I am going out with friends, and I am gonna wear my Sketchers. I hope they aren't too embarrassed to be seen with me in public. Oh well, too bad if they are.

March Right in and Complain

2011-03-06T19:20:00.000-05:00

I hate it when a person tells me the same story over and over. And I am NOT talking about a senior citizen (who can't help it). I mean someone my age or younger, who will tell me the same story 5 times a year. It's like, don't you remember we had this conversation before?
Negative or criticizing comments on my Facebook wall. Need I explain this one?
Recorded telephone solicitations. Time was when a live person would call and try to solicit something from you. Now, they removed the human aspect of it entirely and call you with a pre-recorded message. I noticed this the most during re-election times, but have also been getting these calls more recently. Time to get back on the "Do Not Call" list...
Cashiers who should be in retirement homes. Last week I had to wait and wait and wait for the oldest cashier I have ever had in my history of shopping. This man was shaking, got frustrated easily, and had a bad attitude. I could not believe that he was employed. He clearly could not handle the job. My guess was that he was 80+ years old. Not that every person that age is unqualified, but he clearly was.
A friend of mine recently had a bad experience going to a play at a local theatre (one where a ticket could cost $85+ pp). The heat was turned up so high that his wife had to literally get up out of her seat and go into the lobby to cool off, missing part of the show. When he complained to the theatre about this, they did nothing. I think I was more upset than he was. With the economy in Michigan the way it is, nice theatres are gonna go out of business if they don't keep their clientele happy. I told him to write a nasty letter to them until they give him some sort of compensation. Oh, and did I mention that he is a season ticket holder? Way to treat a patron!
Restaurants that don't take reservations for large parties. I am going out with a party of 12 people this weekend, and our restaurant of choice wouldn't take a reservation. They said we could "call ahead". Right....maybe we'll decide to go somewhere else to eat then.
I've been having bad luck with cashiers. Today I had a woman who gave me a total attitude when I asked her for paper bags. Oh I am sorry, am I making your job harder for you? And the sad thing is that I had to ask twice. The second time she gave me a dirty look. She didn't thank me for shopping at Meijer either. Bitch.
Just when it warmed up here in Michigan to over 40 degrees (wow, I know!), it had to snow and ice us again. I am sick and tired of living here with a snow rink subdivision and unploughed roads. A friend of mine told me I should get a Zamboni. I think that would be appropriate 9 months out of the year.
I really wish photographs moved liked they do in the "Harry Potter" books.
I recently had the pleasure of being taken on vacation to Cancun. The first couple of days, I put on the SPF 30 sunscreen and got very little color. Well, there was NO WAY I was going on vacation and not coming home with a tan. So on the 4th day I decided not to re-apply the sunscreen after lunch, and I sat on the lounge-chair and baked. The next morning I was a rock lobster. Of course having burned, now I am peeling like crazy. I have flakes of skin coming off my face and other parts of my body. Lovely to look at, let me tell you!

The Wizard of Oz

2011-02-13T11:45:00.000-05:00

The Wizard of Oz is probably my favorite movie of all time. I mean, it doesn't get much better than flying monkeys. And who can't relate to at least one character? My older readers out there may remember that it used to be shown on TV once a year (this was before VCR's, DVR's, etc) and I always watched it.

The Scarecrow: Who hasn't felt like they didn't have a brain? I feel that way all the time. In fact, my middle name should be "Scarecrow". I don't stumble around quite as much as he does though. But I am as loyal. And "If I only had a brain" is my theme song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1kBiAYQMDg&feature=related

The Tin Man: Yes...a heart. You know you have one when it is breaking, tru dat. Tin Man is probably my favorite of them all, not only because he is a cool silver color, but because of his depth of feeling. He literally wears his heart on his sleeve. I love that.

The Lion: My least favorite character, although he is good for comic relief. I hate his songs in the movie, mainly because he doesn't have a good singing voice. But when he faints in front of the Wizard is it pretty funny.

Dorothy: Innocent little girl. Yeah, I was like her once. A long time ago in a place far, far away. Get rid of that apron though please.

The Wicked Witch: Looking for vengeance and power? Have my own army? You betcha! Plus I love her complexion and dress.

The Wizard of Oz/Professor Marvel/The Doorman, etc: Terrific how he he plays all different roles. Best line of the movie "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain". I am not sure if he is a good person or not. It seems at the beginning that he is nothing more than a con artist, and then he pretends to be The Wizard, and he really never helps Dorothy at all...but something makes me think that he is good down deep.

Glinda, The Good Witch: Well, she is so sticky sweet. And she talks kinds funny. But I love her dress and magic wand. Can I get one of those outfits?

Auntie Em: The woman certainly looks like she has one foot in the grave. Which raises the question, what ever happened to Dorothy's parents? Maybe I actually need to read the book to find out.

Uncle Henry: Do you think he had incestuous thoughts about Dorothy?

Toto: I don't have an opinion of him, because I am not a dog lover. I would have liked to see him get drowned by The Wicked Witch. Now that would have been drama! Do you think it was animal cruelty carrying him around in a picnic basket? A picnic basket?

The Munchkins: Well, Dunkin Donuts named a dessert after them. Plus, they are shorter than I am. Plus they sing the catchy tune "Ding Dong The Witch is Dead". Yeah, they are cool in my book.

The Horse of Another Color: Never caught that one until I was about 40 years old.

Because of this movie, EVERY TIME I hear about a tornado, or there is a tornado warning, I think of the scene from this movie where the house is spinning around and Dorothy sees the cow fly by her window.

I love when the movie goes from black and white to color. Blows me away every time.

Do you think The Wicked Witch ever drank water? How could she?

Why was her army so happy when she died? Didn't she give them benefits? (My son says, no, they were slaves mom...)

There are so many great quotes from this movie. One of my favorites is "A heart is not measured by how much you love but how much you are loved by others.".

Who is your favorite character?

People Pissing Me Off!!

2011-02-08T19:41:00.000-05:00

So one of my readers actually suggested to me after yesterday's post that I spend less time on Facebook while at work so I don't make those little mistakes anymore. I defriended her. Sorry Mom, you just don't understand me.

I called AT&T today to see if they could give me a bundle deal which would add cell phone service to my already existing home phone, internet and TV services I have with them. I started off the call asking if I would get a discount. The customer service agent told me he would need some information first. He proceeded to get my name, address, verify my phone number, social security number, driver's license number, cell phone number and carrier, and the name of my first born. After spending lots of time giving him this information and answering some other questions about features I wanted (data, texting, etc) he quoted me the regular price for the cell phone plan. I said "So, I don't get a bundle discount?". He said "No, we don't do that". I said, "So there is no reason why I should choose AT&T then"? He didn't answer. I wanted to ask why he just didn't come out and SAY that when I asked at the beginning of the call! It would have saved 20 minutes of my life that I'll never get back.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I hold teachers in the highest regard. But one thing that pisses me off, is when they give us zero notice when there is a party or some event that we need to attend or donate an item to. For instance, I had received no information on whether my 5th grader was having a Valentine's Day party this year or not. I had already bought my younger son his Valentine's cards because his teacher notified us way in advance. But the 5th grader had no clue if there was a party or not. I emailed his teacher...no response. The next day she sends out an email to the whole class about how there will be a party, she wants people to donate stuff for it, and the kids can bring in Valentine's cards. So now, less than a week before the holiday, I have to get my butt to Target and hope they have the cards that he wants still in stock. What are the chances of that happening? With my luck, they'll only have the Disney Princess cards left.

So, which one if you is NEXT to piss me off? Bring it!

Losing It (and not in the cool Eminem way)

2011-02-07T18:24:00.000-05:00

I am slowly losing my mind. It is fading, a little day by day. I make these stupid mistakes at work, and I go back over what I was doing, and can't figure out why I made the mistake. It is like someone else took over my mind for a while. Or at least that is what I'd like to think. Or aliens. Yeah, I blame the aliens that have also implanted a homing device in my leg. I have this "scar" on my lower leg that I have no explanation for. It just appeared there mysteriously years ago. I asked a dermatologist if she could remove it and she said no. I am pretty sure it isn't a normal scar. It just looks too weird. I think my dermatologist is being paid off by the aliens.

I go into a room and can't remember why I was going in there. This happens all the time. Am I suffering from early dementia? Early Alzheimers? I have trouble with planning. I am unable to look into the future and make coherent plans. A month or 2 ago my mom asked if I could get a certain week off in August for a family trip. I said yes, without bothering to consult with any calendars or camp schedules. So today as I was looking through the camp brochure, I realized that the trip would fall during a camp session. I frantically called my mom, apologizing and asking if she could move the trip dates. Luckily she could. This is just one example of something like this happening to me though. A screw up on my end. I have brain problems. It is probably a tumor.

The funny part is, no matter how much I get tested for different things, all my medical tests come back perfectly normal. One thing I have not had is an MRI of my head. Frankly, I am extremely scared to have one. My doctor doesn't feel it's necessary, so I leave it at that. I don't know what may be going on in there. For all I know, they'd find cobwebs. That is a neat word. cobwebs. I hate spiders though. Oh my, what if I have a bunch of spiders living in my brain?

Pet-Peeves!

2011-02-06T20:26:00.000-05:00

You gotta love when you are at a party and people are just randomly taking candid pictures. And they take one of you which looks like this and they post it on Facebook for all to see (I am the short redhead):

I untagged myself, of course. Then nobody will know its me *groan*!

I went shopping at the mall the other day. I walked into Fossil and was greeted by a sales clerk who asked if he could help me find anything. I politely said no, that I was just browsing. I walked a little further and was greeted by another sales clerk who asked me the same thing. I politely said no, that I was just browsing. I walked around their counter (it was a very small store) and was greeted by a 3rd sales clerk. At that point, I wanted to ask her if she was deaf or just plain stupid because her 2 other co-workers had already spoken to me. Instead of that quip reply, I left the store. You can be sure I'll never go in there again.

Then I went into Victoria's Secret because I had a $10 off coupon to use. After wandering the store for a while a sales clerk greeted me and asked if I had seen their new bras which are "lightly padded" and "shape enhancing". I looked at her like she was crazy. Did she not notice my huge bazoombas? I do not NEED any extra padding, thank you. In fact, I need a minimizer. Do you have one of those?

I recently posted a Facebook status update on someone's wall rather than on my own profile page. I didn't realize it for an hour or two, and when I did realize it, I deleted the comment. The person who's wall I wrote on did not comment, I am not sure if he saw it or not. But I was horrified. How could I make such a glaring mistake? Makes me wonder what other mistakes I have made on Facebook? Posting personal messages as status updates? Hmm?

Snowy Day Thoughts

2011-02-02T19:11:00.000-05:00

Kids had a snow day today & so did I. It was actually pretty enjoyable. They let me sleep in until 9 am. Then I made them my famous chocolate chip pancakes. Then we went outside to "shovel". That consisted of me shoveling the walkway while they moved the snow around a bit, then messed up the walkway after I cleared it.

Then it was snow fight time. I had zero chance when the boys ganged up on me. The older one hit me square in the face with snow and that was not fun. But then I got them back. I got 'em good.

After being outside for a while, we came in and I made them hot cider. I jumped into the shower since I was soaking wet anyways.

On snow days I like to do laundry. I did several loads of both mine and the boys. And the scary discovery I made is that I cannot tell the difference between some of their socks and mine. For some reason this depresses me. They are getting so big.

I would like to formally thank the makers of Beyblade Metal Fusion. This non-electronic game has been entertaining my kids for hours on end since they got it for Hanukkah. Today was no exception. They even wanted me to play and taught me how. Basically, you launch a spinning top and watch it spin. All I kept thinking was that the game would be a lot funner if I were high.

I liked watching the snow fall. It fell in big flakes, slowly from the sky. I really wished that I had a working fireplace that I could light, sit in front of and watch the snow fall. That would have been nice and relaxing.

Speaking of relaxing, I got to take a nap. Again, thanks to Beyblade.

Although today was wonderful, I am really hoping there is school tomorrow. 2 days inside with the boys would be too much. Kinda like a scene out of The Shining.

The Tooth Fairy Strikes (Out) Again

2011-01-31T07:06:00.000-05:00

There is one thing you should know about me. I suck at being The Tooth Fairy. A few years ago, my oldest lost a tooth. He was already convinced at that time that hubby & I were The Tooth Fairy, and was determined to prove it. He said that he was going to hold onto the tooth under his pillow so as to "bust" us when we showed up to collect the tooth and give him the money. I should have been warned.

He went to bed. That was at around 9 pm. My bedtime is around 10 pm. So shortly before 10 pm, I sneak into his room on tiptoe. I thought he was asleep. I reach under his pillow and sure enough, his hand is gripping the ziploc bag which holds to tooth. I try to gently ungrip him from it. He stirs. I start to giggle. He mumbles something. I quickly put the money under the pillow and dart from the room, trying to hold my giggles in. Not very successfully.

The next morning he confronts me about it. I deny, deny deny. I told him that it was a dream, and that he did not see me in his room last night. He looks at me disapprovingly because I am lying to him. He knows it was me. He knows I am The Tooth Fairy.

Yesterday he lost another tooth. Since that last tooth fairy fiasco, I had been having hubby do the duty. But he is out of town now, so it was up to me. I waited until almost 10:30 pm this time, to assure that he was deep asleep. Now, my son sleeps on 2 pillows. Of course the tooth was not under the pillow closest to the door, so after running my hand under that pillow, I had to cross the room quietly to get to the other pillow. Rummaged and found the bag. Left the money. Started giggling. Ran out of the room.

This morning when that son awoke, he said "I saw you". I said, "No, you didn't". That is my story, and I am sticking to it. I just hope that neither kid looses another tooth in the next 2 weeks.

I suck at being The Tooth Fairy.

It is going.

2011-01-30T07:34:00.000-05:00

He's been gone 2 days now. I find myself yelling a lot more at the kids. I am being told to relax. How can I relax?

I've said this before and I will say it again. I don't know how single parents do it. It is hard, very hard. Especially when you are outnumbered 2 to 1. The kids can sense this, and they gang up on you.

I have help, which I am very grateful for. But it still seems like we are all a little stressed and on edge. Every 5 minutes my youngest one asks if he can Skype his dad. At the time, dad was in the air, so the answer was no.

I missed a call from hubby when he landed in India. I didn't hear my cellphone ring. When I tried returning the call, it wouldn't connect. It said the call could not be completed. I tried 10 times. Couldn't get through. I texted him and that seemed to go through. I waited. I had my friend who has a smartphone, Facebook message him to let him know I was waiting for his call. However, it was 3 am in India, so I had no idea if he was sleeping or not. I held my breath and eventually broke down and cried.

And then he called! Everything was fine there, he was tired from the day of travel. It was good just to hear his voice. He spoke to his sons and they said they missed him already.

It is going to be a long 2 weeks.

2 Weeks

2011-01-27T20:48:00.000-05:00

2 weeks. Didn't seem too long. Didn't faze me at first when he told me he'd be going for work. 2 weeks without my husband. No big deal, I mean, we go that long without talking to each other, most of the time.

2 weeks. We can Skype and email. It will be just like he is here. Except, he won't be.

He told my boys that they will be responsible for killing any unfortunate spiders that come into the house. They will also be responsible for killing any intruders. He forgot to tell them that though.

It is the day before he is leaving and I am totally freaking out. How am I gonna manage without him? Who is gonna do the kids math homework with them (definitely not me, 1 + 1=3).

What happens if it snows? Oh Lord, I'd have to actually shovel the snow myself!

Why bother cooking while he is gone? The kids certainly don't appreciate it. I guess I'll have to carry out more. Oh, that is a bonus. I asked hubby if they were giving him a "per diem". Because I'd be spending it on food.

Who is gonna fix the furnace when it goes wonkers (thanks for that word Mandy). I have lots of blankets so don't worry about me.

I was jealous that he was going, at first. I mean, it's an adventure! He is going to India, a place neither of us has ever been. Plus, he won't have any family responsibilities for 2 weeks. No waking up early, no nagging or whining. But then he told me that he'd miss the kids. I knew what he meant. Those little buggers grow on you. A few days without them is hard, let alone 2 weeks.

For some reason I am also worrying about what he'll forget to pack. He is a grown-up, so I am letting him pack himself. But do men even know how to pack? Will he forget his underwear? Is there a Kmart in India? Does anyone know?

And don't even get me started about The Sex. A toy is nice once in a while, but is no substitute for warm hands and a warm body. We can have phone sex or Skype sex but again, no warm body next to me.

Speaking of warm, it is summer in India right now. That's right. While I am freezing my ass off, he'll be at the pool suntanning. Fuck. No, I am not jealous at all.

We have never been apart this long since we started dating, 15 years ago. That's a long time to be with someone. Two weeks seems very long to be without him.

Godspeed baby.

Cold!

2011-01-20T19:57:00.000-05:00

I never used to be one of those people who is always cold.

But now I am.

I wear a jacket over my clothes at home.

On the couch I always have a blanket over me.

I can barely eat ice cream anymore, because it chills me from the inside.

I always wear thick socks.

I wear gloves indoors.

My blood must have gotten thinner.

My heart must not be pumping as hard.

My body has gone into hibernation without telling my head about it.

Winter can suck on my Popsicle tits.

I need a space heater that attaches to my body like a backpack. Anyone got a patent on that?

I snuggle with my family for the sole purpose of getting their body heat.
I wear ugly sweaters just for their warmth factor.
How many more weeks until Summer?

Masochistic or Sadistic?

2011-01-19T09:08:00.000-05:00

Masochistic

–noun

Psychiatry . the condition in which sexual gratification depends on suffering, physical pain, and humiliation.

gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc., inflicted or imposed on oneself, either as a result of one's own actions or the actions of others, esp. the tendency to seek this form of gratification.

the act of turning one's destructive tendencies inward or upon oneself.

the tendency to find pleasure in self-denial, submissiveness, etc.

sadistic

–noun

Psychiatry . sexual gratification gained through causing pain or degradation to others. Compare masochism.

any enjoyment in being cruel.

extreme cruelty.

I used to think of myself as more masochistic than sadistic. But in thinking about it in depth, I'd have to classify myself as sadistic. Here are the reasons:

I like to hurt others. Just ask my hubby, he'll tell you.
I am cruel to be kind.
I believe in tough love.
I use sex as a weapon.
As much as I like to hurt myself, I like to hurt others more.
I like to pick other people's pimples even when it hurts them.
Give me a whip and a blindfold and I'd happily demonstrate on you.
I take naps while hubby takes care of the kids.
I will ignore you until you cry (oh wait, that is really just my kids).

Of course, getting a tattoo is totally masochistic. However, the whole "telling my Dad about it" was pretty sadistic on my part, but he took it better than I thought he would.

Making you read this blogpost is pretty sadistic.

What about you? What category do you fall into, and why?

Thomas Edison Day?

2011-01-17T09:24:00.001-05:00

My blog=my opinions, right? Well, I am pretty sure most of you won't like this blog and what I have to say. Whatev. That's what the comment section is for.

Martin Luther King Jr. Day. I think it is very nice to have a holiday for the man. But it seems like each year, there is more and more hoopla made about it, and I am not sure why. There have been many great people, doing great things, that don't have this level of celebration and attention. So why does he? What about Thomas Edison Day? Without him, we'd still be in the dark. Or Noah Webster Day? Without him, we wouldn't know what any words meant. Or John Lennon? He also stood for peace & love among all people and was also assassinated.

My kids have the day off of school. Why? I would think that Dr. King would have wanted the kids in school and learning!!! If they were in school, then they could have lessons about the principals that Dr. King stood for. Instead, they get a day off to stay home and play their video games. Because mommy still has to work.

There are plenty of community events going on for MLK day. But we won't be at any of them. I don't like feeling obligated, just because the day is named after him, to do community service. I give to charities and I volunteer in my own way and for causes that are near and dear to my heart. I am not going to make a special effort to do something just because there is a day named after a man.

I know what you're gonna say. That he is a positive role model for black Americans. That he had a positive message for the masses. I agree. But what I don't agree with is the level of attention and celebration focused on this one man alone. What about all those current role models out there trying to make a difference? What about them?

How Young is Too Young for Playboy?

2011-01-11T11:11:00.001-05:00

I was surprised when my 10 year old son asked me what Playboy was. I asked him what he thought it was. He said a magazine for teenage boys. I asked where he heard about that. He said the "Million Dollar Drop" TV show. I asked him if he knew what was in the magazine. He said pictures of naked women. I said it was an adult magazine. He said, no, it's for teenagers, that's why it's called Play "boy"!

I should have taken that opportunity to educate him about how women are more than perfect pictures you see in those magazines. I should have showed him an actual Playboy magazine and let him read the articles. Maybe I should have had "The Talk" with him right then and there. But I just got a goofy smile on my face and let the subject drop. I also ordered the hubby to hide all his Playboy magazines so that my son could not find them!

As one of my FB friends commented "Tell him if he works hard in school and makes a lot of money and starts his own magazine, one day when he's 82, he can still land a 22 year-old hottie better than his son and grandson can". I can't argue with that logic.

A Tattoo In Pictures

2011-01-10T16:45:00.000-05:00

This blogpost is dedicated to my besties Lisa & Randle, who made my tattoo happen. Love you guys.

My first tattoo. People asked if I was nervous. I was not. Pain doesn't scare me. I was super excited.

Here is the "before" pic. Yeah, I actually shaved. Sexy!

Next was going to Royal Oak Tattoo. I had an appointment with Mr. Ed, who is also the owner. I still wasn't nervous. Until he showed me the needle he'd be using. Then I got a little anxious. I was like, this is gonna hurt! Then he transferred the design onto me. Oh yeah, this is gonna rock! Below you can see the start of him doing the outline:

At first, I was like, oh the pain isn't that bad. Then it kicked in a bit. Then I made the face:

And that about sums up the pain portion. When he was done with the outline it looked like this:

Next he did the filler color. He told me the needle didn't hurt as much with the filler color. Bull-shit! I was like, it still hurts!!!

The tear drops filled in:

And the colors, my favorite 2 colors:

And the end result:

I floated out of that tattoo parlor like a butterfly: transformed. I can't tell you how much I love it. I am already planning my next one.

P.S. Please don't tell my dad. Thanks!

What an Allergy Looks Like

2011-01-04T20:10:00.000-05:00

My son recently had skin testing for allergies. This is what his back looked like after 15 minutes:

He was tested for the usual environmental allergies (trees, grass, mites, pollen, etc) as well as animals, fish, and tree nuts. Tested positive for everything except fish & seafood. The allergist is following up with a blood test to confirm the food allergies.

So, because his back blew up like a balloon, and his allergy meds don't work, the allergist recommended allergy shots. I didn't bat an eye. I had shots from age 3-18 years. It was a fact of life for me. The bad part is that nowadays they give the kids 2-3 shots each time, rather than one like I had. Ouch. The good part is that it may only take a period of 5 years or less to give him the immunity to these allergies.

My son, understandably, doesn't seem happy about the whole thing. He has a pretty high tolerance for pain, so I know he will be alright.

Now, if I can find someone to chauffeur him to and from these shot appointments, I'll be happy.

Letting the Inner Freak Out

2011-01-02T21:00:00.001-05:00

I've decided that 2011 is the year I am gonna let my inner freak out. You read that right. Like it's not out already? No.

What am I going to do? First, I bought some larger gauge hoop earrings to expand my ear holes (aka flesh tunnel, see pic). I want to wear one of those earrings that have a hole you can see thru. So, I bought a starter pair and shoved them in my ears. You obviously have to start small and work your way up to larger gauge earrings. Didn't hurt as much as I expected. I just hope they don't get infected.

Next is of course my first tattoo. The original design my friend made was too detailed for the size, so I am re-drawing it. I hope to get it in the next few weeks. Already thinking about the 2nd...

I found a store locally that sells straitjackets. Gonna get me one. Gonna try it out. Enough said.

I am exploring some other freaky stuff. If you have any suggestions, please email them to me. IntenseAuburn@gmail.com.

Happy Freaky New Year!

Funny Status Updates

2010-12-31T12:00:00.002-05:00

I have some pretty funny Facebook friends. Here are just a few status updates that made me LOL:

I continue my quest for Father of the Year: My son: "Dad, how do you know when your best isn't good enough?" Me: "Someone will tell you. Usually a woman.

Hey Mother Nature.........it wasn't a Snow Job I asked for.

Checked into the hotel and said to the desk clerk, "I hope the porn channel on my TV is disabled." "No sir," said the clerk, “it’s just ordinary porn, you sick bastard.”

With all the shit that goes down in Gotham city, why the fuck do people still live there?

One day the Duck was about to cross the road. Then the Chicken stopped him and said "Don't do it man, You'll never hear the end of it..."

Bought some albums tonight - classic vinyl. I was turning away from the counter and the clerk says "here!," and hands me the receipt - which says, of course - "Keep This For Your Records."

‎- Just wondering... You know how most packages say "Open here". What's the protocol if the package says "Open there"???

The following nonsense is brought to you courtesy of my husband: he took an old potato (like 2 months old; it had started to resprout. he wouldn't let me throw it away) he shoved it onto a stick and stuck the stick into the gate to the back yard. I asked why. "Because DTE will be coming to read the meter", he replied. And now you have a a little unwanted insight into my world. Jealous? Yes, I bet you are!

Garage door has decided it wants to stay part way up. Hoping it doesn't last more than four hours...

Drove young buck to his work after his tire went flat and he needed a ride. He thought I was only 26 years old. But then when I told him my age, he told me I'm the same age as his mom. Then he gave me his business card and phone number. I don't know whether I love or hate him.

I just want to live in a society where people don't try to tell others what to do all the time. If you agree with me, copy this to your status and Twitter account. Also go spray paint it on your garage door and get it tattooed on your left butt.

"That's a pretty little beard-scrunchie you got there."
"Nice muumuu"
---exchange overheard at the last meeting of Voldemort and Dumbledore

Dear Santa,

I'm not going to even pretend I was good this year, so I'm really hoping you were entertained by my antics.

Love,
...A

Message me the numbers on the front of your credit card, your expiration date and security code (the 3 or 4 numbers on the back of your card) and I'll post on here what I bought with your account information.

Excess: (n). An amount that is greater than necessary. See my wife's suitcase for accompanying visual definition.\

I'm starting a drunken brawl with the next person who stereotypes the Irish.

I've stopped fighting my inner-demons....we're on the same side now.

Ya know.....the embarrassing thing about listening to WE ARE THE WORLD on my iPod in public...... is that no one knows why my arms are swaying side to side.

New Year's De-Resolutions, etc.

2010-12-29T12:46:00.000-05:00

I was going to write about my New Year's resolutions, but then I thought back to last year's list . You know how many things I crossed off that list? Zero!

So, I am not making any goals, promises or resolutions. What is the point?

------------------------------

I am not seeing my therapist anymore. Our relationship just got stale. We'd talk about the same things, over and over. The spark was no longer there. He seemed bored when I talked. So I broke up with him. Mental health, schmental health!

------------------------------

I have come to the conclusion that I need to see a back doctor. The funny thing is that I am not having back pain. I am having neck and shoulder pain plus chronic headaches. My massage therapist found this weird spot next to my spine which hurts and suggested I see a chiropractor or doctor about it. Massage therapist said there are so many odd things going on with my body that I could be a case study for The New England Journal of Medicine! I am going the doctor route at least until I figure out what is wrong. Then if I need physical therapy or something, I may go to a chiropractor.

I am a little scared of chiropractors. I have heard many horror stories of them screwing people up. Also, that once you start with a chiropractor, you basically can't stop. But I've always wanted to see one regardless. Strange, huh? And acupuncture. There is something really erotic about being stuck everywhere with tiny little needles...

-----------------------------

Speaking of little needles, I decided to wait until after the first of the year to get my tattoo. But I am very excited about it.
----------------------------
Everyone is asking me what I am doing for New Year's Eve. I am doing the same thing that I've been doing for the last 8 or so years: staying home with friends and family. When I tell people that, their response is usually that it is better that I don't go out. I don't have to pay the extravagant prices that restaurants charge just because it's a holiday. I don't have to deal with the crowds and the drunk drivers. But I also have to party with my kids! Hey now!

This will probably be my last post of 2010. So, I wish you all a very Happy & Healthy New Year!

Nothing is New

2010-12-20T10:18:00.001-05:00

It seems like I don't have an original bone in my body. The things I write about, have been written about somewhere else. Why bother?

I have been so busy these last couple of weeks, December has been a whirlwind. Then I got sick. Figures.

I like to complain in my blog, because I dislike complaining to the people in my life.

Looking at the calendar for January, I think I should go into full-on hibernation mode, because absolutely nothing is happening that month.

I hate winter.

Happy Frickin' New Year!

Making Someone's Day?

2010-12-07T19:07:00.001-05:00

'Tis the season, right? So I make these yummilicious chocolate dipped pieces of heaven (see pic for example), and this year I decided I was going to ship them to some of my FB friends as gifts, just because. In order to ship them, I needed their address. I got a few addresses, but one friend said no. NO? WTF? What, my chocolates aren't good enough for you? Do you think they're laced with arsenic? NEXT person! Your loss.

I am thinking next year of sending lumps of coal. To anyone who will give me their address.

I am the rotten pear in the partridge tree.

Why I Don't Want a TV

2010-12-05T19:42:00.000-05:00

Tonight I was watching a DVR'd show, No Ordinary Family. And realized that I had just wasted about 50 minutes of my life. The show is dreck. For that matter, all the new shows I started watching are dreck, and that includes The Event. It just makes me want to get rid of the TV altogether.

I have been wanting to do this for years. Cut the cable, take down the satellite, and trash the TV. And the more I watch, the more I feel my brain cells shrinking.

I have already banned the TV from the bedrooms. I don't watch the news because the kids are within earshot, and I don't need them hearing about all the murders and wars going on in the world right now. I don't watch live TV, and everything is DVR'd anyways. I could just as easily watch my shows on my computer.

I'm not going to lie, there are some shows I am addicted to, such as The Office, 20 Rock, Glee, House, and Family Guy. But seriously, I could live without ever watching them again. I may not laugh as much, but I'd live.

Could you live without your TV?

Some days are like this

2010-12-03T07:40:00.002-05:00

I can already tell what kind of day it will be today. I woke up unhappy, sluggish and tired. No amount of "think happy thoughts" can change this, in my head.

Some days I wonder if the Prozac really works.

Some days I wonder why I don't have a brighter outlook.

Some days I wonder if I take too much and don't give enough.

Some days I wake up on my side of the bed.

Some days I don't think about you at all.

Some days I am too busy to think.

Some days I am so happy that I am scared it will evaporate.

Some days I don't have the answers you seek.

Some days I find out something I'd rather not know.

Some days I want something I can never have.

Some days I cry.
Some days I take a nap.

Some days I have a glass of wine all by myself.

Some days I want to write but the words don't magically appear.
Some days I don't wear make-up.

Some days I wish I were someone else.

Gift Ideas for Intense Auburn

2010-11-30T20:16:00.000-05:00

Since the holidays are fast approaching, and many of you have asked, here is a list of some gift ideas for me:

A Nice, Shiny, Brand New Macbook (for home)
An iPhone with pre-paid data plan (so I can watch porn wherever I am)
Scented body lotions (no flowery scents, ok?)
Someone to come over and decorate my house with Xmas lights that they bought
Some cool small earring studs, preferably in white gold or silver
Coffee, coffee, coffee
Free babysitting (so I can spend more on drinks)
A personal trainer (six pack abs)
A year's supply of Michigan wine (365 bottles)
A subscription to Playgirl magazine (don't judge me)
New potholders (you don't want my hands getting burned, now do you?)
An itsy bitsy teency weency yellow polka dot bikini (size 14)
A Dwight Schrute bobblehead (for my car, see pic)
A full-size poster of Robert Downey, Jr. (where I am gonna put it is none of your damn business)
Watchmen- The Comedian, 1/6 scale figure (see pic)
The new Eminem CD
Creepy Crawlers bug maker toy (too bad my kids don't want it, eh?)
Handcuffs and some rope (don't ask what they're for)
Front row tickets for a Duran Duran concert, circa 1984 (and a time machine so I can go)
A Life is Crap or Happy Bunny t-shirt
A minute of peace and quiet
A Snuggie and a Pillow Pet
Duct tape (you never know when you'll need it)
Season 1 of GLEE on DVD
Your full and total attention

So, what can I get you for the holidays?

Pet-Peeves, Gifts & Shopping (tis the season)

2010-11-29T19:17:00.003-05:00

When you are cutting a tag off a new article of clothing, and the other plastic piece is embedded in the clothing so you can't pull it out. Now you know it is in there, forever.
When you go to a store and buy something, then the next day it goes on sale 1/2 off.
Gifts without a gift receipt.
Gifts that are clearly re-gifted. I got a set of glasses for my wedding that were covered in dust and had no gift receipt. Re-gifted.
Getting a gift card to a store you NEVER go to. Such as giving a non-coffee drinker a gift card to Starbucks.
When a child gets a totally inappropriate gift. My son got a "duck hunter" toy that said on the package that it "May contain lead".
Giving someone jewelry that doesn't fit, such as a wrong sized ring or a bracelet that is too big. Do your research beforehand, idiot.
When the store forgets to take off the security tag and it sets off the alarm when you are leaving. I am innocent, I tell you!
Incompetent sales people who were hired just for the holiday. Do I even have to explain this comment?
People who look like they should be in the retirement home working as cashiers. Service has never been this slow. Can I take a nap while you ring my crap up?

What pisses you off about shopping or gifts?

Forbidden Fruit

2010-11-28T19:08:00.000-05:00

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable. ~Mark Twain

We all have limits on our relationships. If you are involved, committed, married...what limits do you have regarding relations with the opposite sex? Can you have a friend of the opposite sex that you hang out with? Does your spouse get jealous? When does trust turn into suspicion?

I don't have any answers other than you need to be on the same page as your spouse. If your partner says "no you can't be alone with him" then you respect that or get out of the relationship.

I know men whom I consider friends. Most, (not all) of these men are friends with my husband as well. It is a safe friendship. We go out as couples. I still consider them my friends, but are they really? Shouldn't I be able to go out with a male friend alone if I want? Is there always that voice that says what if we get physical? Would it ever happen if we were alone? I have one male friend who told me that "we aren't friends because he can't go out alone with me". WTF?

I know there are women who swear they've been friends with a guy for "like, 20 years". But I want the details. Are you both married? Both in relationships? Do you see each other in person or just talk on the phone? Do you "do lunch" like women would with each other?

I guess what it comes down to is trust within your primary relationship. If you can't trust your significant other to hang out with a friend of the opposite sex, then you are very insecure.
If you feel like you might lose control of yourself, don't put yourself in that situation to begin with.

What do you think?

If it's Black Friday, then What is Thursday?

2010-11-26T11:03:00.000-05:00

I do the Black Friday shopping each year. Typically I wake up around 4 am Friday morning to hit the stores. Not this year. This year some of the stores started Thursday night. So after stuffing my face with turkey, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie, I ventured out in the rain to Toys R US.

I should have known I was in trouble when there was a backup pulling into the parking lot. Then I saw the line. I arrived about 20 minutes before the store was to open, and the line was already wrapped around the building. I debated turning around and going home. But, I decided this was an adventure, so I parked and trudged around the building to stand in line in the rain.

It was cold. The girls standing in line with me had an umbrella and were very nice. The line moved up bit by bit. By the time we were in front of the building, it started to snow. Just great.

After about 45 minutes, I was let into the store. Of course there were no carts available since people were literally hoarding them in line...but the TRU staff had foreseen that and gave me a huge plastic bag to put my purchases in. Nice. I shoved people out of my way so I could get the things on my list. Of course, the racks were already mostly empty, but I was still able to grab a few things. One item on my list was not where it should have been in the store, so I asked an employee where I could find it. She shrugged and told me she didn't know. Incompetence at it's finest! So after wandering around, I finally found it! It was like the feeling of finding a hidden treasure.

I was silently glad that I didn't need any video games or electronics, because there was a long line to get into that section. I made a mental note that for next year, to do that shopping online.

I was done and went to check out, expecting long lines there as well. This time I was pleasantly surprised, only one person ahead of me in line. But this one person had 2 other people with her, still shopping. So as cashier was ringing her up, other people would continue to hand her stuff. I started giving her the evil eye. Finally she decided to take a break and let me cash out. And I was done there. I went home to bed. Set the alarm for 4:30 am.

Alarm went off, hit snooze. Finally got out of bed and headed out to Kohl's. Parking lot was only half full (yeah!). Walked in, wondered where all the shoppers were. Got a cart (really). Did my shopping. Didn't even have to wait in line for check out. Now that is what I call awesome.

So, final thoughts are that TRU was completely not worth it, but Kohl's was. I just need to remember that a year from now.

A Child's Thanks

2010-11-25T07:22:00.001-05:00

My 8 year old son wrote this at school as a project for Thanksgiving:

My mom takes care of me when I'm sick. My mom makes the best chocolate covered pretzels. My mom plays board games with me. I can't live without my mom.

Let me tell you how I broke down and cried like a baby after reading this. You have no idea.

Thoroughly Thankful

2010-11-24T17:05:00.004-05:00

Every year I seem to be thankful for more things. Here are just a few in no particular order:

When my kids make me laugh
The food on my table & the roof over my head
The unconditional love of my nieces and nephew
My parents who I can count on (and spoil me)
My supportive handsome hubby
My awesome and understanding boss
The fact that hubby & I are still employed
That my cars are paid off
My cool blogger friends including HockeyDino, The Frog Blogg, The Herman Letters, Yes/No Films, The Quirk Factor, The Angry Office Manager, The Voices in Frank's Head...who inspire me.
Sneak preview tickets for movies. A special shout out to Liz and Marc for hooking me up
My facebook friends who I love
Friends who I can always count on and love like sisters/brothers
Drag Queen Bingo
My Mac at work
My iPod
Chocolate
Coffee
Good health for myself and my family
Snuggles with the young one
Bowling with bumpers
Wine
Prozac
Hair color (Intense Auburn)
Jeans that fit perfectly
Packing snow/sledding
Vacation days
Free babysitters (i.e. Papa & Pa & Da)
Girls nights out
Card games
Talented friends
Family Guy
Roller skating
Summer rain
The beach
Sushi
The readers of this blog
Being loved

Cool Chicks

2010-11-22T19:55:00.004-05:00

So I was motivated to write this post because of something I read over at HockeyDino's blog. He did a cool man post. So I am gonna do a cool chicks post. Even though I am expecting a nasty backlash from any chicks I don't put on this list (cat fight?) Here we go, in no particular order:

Julie Newmar
Eartha Kitt
Angelina Jolie
Joan Jett
Cher
Tina Fey
Jeri Ryan
Lisa Ball
Halle Berry
Natalie Portman
Madonna
Charlize Theron
Jessie Weiss
Melissa Lempicki
Layla Hicks
Rebecca Stowe
Angry Mandy
Terri Stern
Jennifer Fraley
Tori Amos
Sinead O'Connor
Debbie Harry
Amy Gers
Rosanna Arquette
Drew Barrymore
Juliette Lewis
Vikki Long
Ellen Page
Zooey Deschanel
Ava Gardner
Dana Waldman
Mel Gorman
Fiona Apple
Michelle Pfeiffer
Kate Beckinsale
Julie Sussex
Martina Navratilova
Jennifer Lopez
Demi Moore
Susan Sarandon
Bjork
Milla Jovovich
Annie Lennox
Kat Von D.
Anne Rice
Adam Lambert
J.K. Rowling
Linda Rondstat
Lady Gaga
Carolyn Jones

What's been on my mind?

2010-11-21T19:33:00.000-05:00

Tattoos. I have finally made up my mind what tattoo I want and where. I am having the design made by a good friend of mine. I just need to get myself over to Royal Oak Tattoo and make an appointment before I change my mind. Should I keep y'all wondering what I am getting? I am planning on documenting the process for a blog post. Stay tuned.
I can't get enough of Christmas lights. At the office plaza where I work, they already have lights decorating the courtyard, and the lights were on during the day so I could look at them. They are so magical. I could look at Christmas lights year around.
Hanukkah is extremely early this year. It starts December 1st if you can believe that. It sucks, because I have to do most of my holiday shopping before Black Friday to be prepared. On the good side, most stores are discounting earlier than Black Friday, so I have gotten some good deals.
Teacher gifts. I believe in thanking my kids teachers, but there are so many this year. My 5th grader alone has 3 teachers for academics, also an art teacher and music teacher. I am gonna go broke with all these gifts. Maybe I'll make them my chocolates as gifts. Even though they'd probably prefer a gift card.
There was a full moon out last night. I got drunk. Correlation?
I had the pleasure of holding my cousins new baby girl yesterday. She was getting fussy, so I used all my expert mom skills to calm her down (plus a pacifier). She fell asleep in my arms. Can you say heaven? But I also finally realized, that I do not want any more, and I am happy just to borrow them now and again.
I went to Victoria's Secret yesterday to get some fancy lingerie to impress my hubby with. And you know what? The kind of lingerie that I really wanted (the corset type) didn't come in my bra size because my BAZOOMBAS ARE TOO BIG. Yeah. I was pissed. So I had to get something without a formed cup. I got something pretty, but was still a little disappointed.
Do you have a fireplace? Do you use it? It seems to me that most people have one but don't use it. We don't use ours and I am not sure why. A couch is blocking it so you really can't see it. What a waste, huh?
Thanksgiving is this week. For the last several years I make an inventory in my mind of what I am thankful for. It seems like the list gets longer each year. And for that I am thankful.
Happy Thanksgiving!

Braggin Time, etc.

2010-11-16T19:14:00.001-05:00

I don't like to write about my kids too much. But since this is my quasi-diary, I want to. My husband and I went to parent/teacher conferences recently for both kids, 3rd and 5th graders. All teachers remarked about what good students they were. All said they were smart and either at or above grade level in all academic subjects. I learned that my 5th grader is still a social chatterbox with his friends but it has not gotten out of control. At least he knows how to be on the borderline of not getting into trouble. My 3rd grader listens intently and pays attention all the time. I would like to see that kid come home to me! I am a very proud mama.

My dad recommended I watch the old movie "Pandora and The Flying Dutchman" so I DVR'd it and watched it the other night. I tell you I didn't know what to expect, but I was drawn in to the story. I was captivated by the beautiful Ava Gardner. The scenic backgrounds were nicely shot. And the story was unusual. I cried at a pivotal plot turn. A movie I would recommend for all you romantics out there.

I joined the Lincoln Park Fan Club the other day so that I could have access to pre-sale tickets to their US Tour. I had to pay to join, of course. Membership has its privileges. So the tickets went on sale yesterday at noon and I ordered mine at exactly noon. The weird thing is that I don't know what seats I got. I just know that I have reserved tickets. I paid a ton of money for the tickets too. I am really glad they are my son's favorite band, or else I would never go see them in concert. Sometimes kids come in handy.

People to Hang Onto

2010-11-15T17:23:00.000-05:00

There are some people who have come into my life that I want to hold onto and never let go. Like, literally hang onto them, like with my arms around their leg, so they can't leave.

There are some people I see once a year that I miss terribly the rest of the year when they are away.

There are people who make me smile just by talking to them over the phone.

There are people who I think about and wonder what the heck ever happened to them, because I've lost touch with them over the years.

There are people I've met online who I am just dying to meet in person. I am thinking about taking a few weeks off work and just travel around to meet them. I have a pretty strong fan base in Kentucky, I hear.

There are people who I never care if I ever see again. Mostly ex-boyfriends and mean girls.

There are people who I quietly stalk on Facebook who don't know that I am stalking them. I am a stealth stalker.

There are people who hold little pieces of my heart in their hands without even realizing it. These are people I am usually nice to.

There are people out there who know me better than I know myself. Although this is scary, there is a certain comfort in it as well.

There are people who come and go like the seasons, and some I miss and some I don't.

The Death Bed Scenerio

2010-11-14T21:41:00.001-05:00

I sometimes think about what I would say to certain people if they were on their deathbed. This is dark and weird, I know. But it is a way I deal with feelings that perhaps I would not express otherwise. When a person is dying, you could tell them the worst or best secret and it will literally go to grave with them. There is security in knowing that.

Sometimes it is a confession of love to a friend. "You know I've always loved you". "I will miss you more than you'll know". "You have meant so much to me". "My life won't be the same without you here". "I want to fuck your brains out".

Sometimes it is sorrowful. "I regret not being there for you when you needed me". "I am sorry I burned everything you ever gave me".

Sometimes it is a secret. "Remember that time when I told you I was sleeping at Lisa's house? Well, I wasn't. I was at Bill's house". "I slept with your brother".

Am I the only one who has thoughts like this? I hope not. I don't know why I think like that, because inevitably it makes me sad and usually cry.

I clearly need psychiatric help.

Happiness is not Fleeting

2010-11-11T21:09:00.000-05:00

It always scares me a bit when I am very happy. Like I don't deserve it, and that it is temporary. I was unhappy/depressed off the Prozac, so I went back on. And it is working like a little miracle. I am no longer depressed and withdrawn. I want to see and be seen, I want to be with my friends and family. That is happiness.

I know the people I want to be around. I want the closeness, the laughter and sharing of jokes. I want the experiences I've never had before. I want to live my life without regrets and feel a wide range of emotions. And I can do that, even on the little pills. I am not damaged, I am fixed. And ready to have joy and delight.

Hibachi Scares Me

2010-11-10T22:01:00.000-05:00

So we decided to go to a Japanese Steak House restaurant where they cook the dinner in front of you on the hibachi. I have been there before several times, so I knew what to expect.

I knew to beware. I'll admit it, I am a total chicken when it comes to big balls of flames going off in front of my face. I think the fear started in my teens when I accidentally burned off some of my eyelashes while lighting a cigarette.

Anyhoo, I started to get nervous when the chef came to our table. He started by cleaning it. I cowered in my chair. My 8 year old son saw that I was scared, and put his arm around me and told me that he would protect me. I let him. How sad am I that I needed to be protected by my own son? Pathetic!

Sometimes, I would conveniently take that opportunity to go to the "ladies room". But this time I stayed. Even the chef could tell I had the fear, so he lit it at the opposite end from where I was sitting. I was grateful. But that didn't stop me from yelling when the table behind me was lit up!

The best part was after the flames die down and the show starts. When the chef started throwing the knives around and tossing the food all over the place. I loved the volcano (see picture). It was just coolness.

Of course the whole reason you go there is for the food, right? It was so yummy. That's about all I can say. I guess the whole " could be burnt up alive" part is worth it.

15+ Films

2010-11-08T19:22:00.002-05:00

So I did one of those chain notes on FB recently. Here it is, but see my commentary and additions at the bottom:

The rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen films you've seen that will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. Tag fifteen friends, including me, because I'm interested in seeing what films my friends choose. (To do this, go to your Notes tab on your profile page, paste rules in a new note, cast your fifteen picks, and tag people in the note -- in the 'tag' line.)

Edward Scissorhands
Shawshank Redemption
Evil Dead/Army of Darkness
Breakfast Club
Nosferatu
Abbott & Costello meet Frankenstein
(500) Days of Summer
Grease
Xanadu
The Wizard of Oz
A Nightmare on Elm Street
16 Candles
Avatar
The Incredibles
Sweeney Todd

Those are the first movies that I could think of. However, I came up with more, especially after seeing some of my friends notes:

Star Wars
LOTR
Pulp Fiction
Dangerous Liaisons
Fight Club
High Fidelity
A Clockwork Orange
Pink Floyd's The Wall
Say Anything
Halloween
Jaws
Desperately Seeking Susan
Clerks
Chasing Amy
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)
Star Trek
Event Horizon
Psycho (1960)
American Psycho
A Nightmare Before Xmas
The Dark Knight
Toy Story 1, 2 & 3
Spiderman
Iron Man
Pirates of the Caribbean
The Sixth Sense
Inception
The Matrix
Harry Potter 1
X-men Wolverine Origins
King Kong
Terminator
The Exorcist
Planet of the Apes
Chicago
The Incredible Hulk
The Silence of the Lambs
Legend
Sleepless in Seattle
50 First Dates
8 Mile
The Little Mermaid
Watchmen
The Graduate
Monsters, Inc.
The Wedding Singer
Saving Private Ryan
House of Wax
The Crow

What movies are on your "unforgettable" list?

My Best Friend

2010-11-07T07:08:00.000-05:00

When you are going through a hard time in your life, who do you lean on to get you through?

When you have the best news to share with someone, who do you call first?

Who do you trust with your most intimate secrets?

I was asked these questions recently, and I didn't have to think long to get the answer: my husband. Besides for being my spouse, lover, and father of my kids, he is my best friend. He is the one who supports me when I am uncertain. He is the one who rubs my back when it hurts. He is always there to listen to me even when all I want to do is rant. He understands my weird way of thinking. He can complete my sentences for me.

There is no one else that can hold me like he does. I feel safe and protected in his arms. He cries when I cry. He laughs at me, even when I am not laughing. We share a bond of parenting, and are partners in our marriage. I admire his intelligence and sense of humor. I love his hands. He is the one I can trust above all others. He is a noble knight. His nose reminds me of those Greek statues.

We are a study in opposites: he is tall, I am short. His hair is nappy and mine is not. He majored in accounting and I am horrible at math. He hates coffee and I like it. He stays up late and I go to bed early. He likes Bon Jovi and I like Sinead O' Connor. But we are yin and yang to each other-our halves equal one.

Today is my best friends birthday, and I want to wish him Happy Happy. I love you.

A Letter to My Younger Self

2010-11-06T10:35:00.000-04:00

A letter to my younger self,

Value your friends and do not hurt them, for the people you are friends with now, you will be friends with in 20 years as well. Do not hurt them, and be there for them when they are hurting. Be a better friend, and never forsake your girlfriends for your boyfriends. The boyfriends will come and go, but your girlfriends have your back.

That guy that you met at the party is a good person, but he is not your soul mate. Do not lead him on, because in your heart you know it is not right. Before he proposes, break it off. Because you destroy his heart with what you’ll do to him. And it will tear you apart to know you caused that kind of hurt.

Do not major in Art History. You will do nothing with it. Instead, become a teacher. Even though it seems unlikely to you at this time, you will love teaching and will be good at it. Plus you’ll get the summers off, and you will LOVE summer.

Travel, travel and travel some more. You think you have no money now? Wait until you have 2 kids. Don’t be stupid. Travel to all those places you want to go before you can’t.

Always make sure he wears a condom.

You may hate high school, but you will love college. Remember that you will find people who you can relate to, people who are not cardboard cut-outs. There are so many cool people out there. You just have to look.

Become friends with Mark Zuckerberg. He will do great things.

Start blogging as soon as possible. You will love it and it is cheaper than therapy. Don’t be afraid to jump on the “mommy blogging” bandwagon. It could prove to be lucrative.

Beware of Facebook. It will become an obsession, a time suck, and will hurt your relationships. Use your privacy settings to the maximum from Day 1. Block, block and block some more. Do not accept friend requests from strange men. Do not post inappropriate status updates. And don’t become friends with your boss on it either.

Make sure to have Grandma Molly show you how to make stuffed cabbage and apple pie from scratch. You will lose her too early, and will never get that opportunity again.

Don't stop bike riding just because you aren't dating the guy who got you into it. You enjoy it, it is good exercise, and gives you a sense of freedom. And when you off road on the trails, you love feeling that closeness with nature.

Trust your instincts more and listen to that little voice inside your head. Don't act with your heart all the time. It is OK to change your mind. Nothing is written in stone.

Busy Busy and More Busy

2010-11-02T21:49:00.003-04:00

I got a free pass to see a sneak preview of "Due Date" Monday night. I've had to pass on many sneak previews when they fall during the week because I don't like to stay up late, but I made an exception because Robert Downey Jr. was in this movie. And the movie was pretty funny. But to be honest, I am glad I didn't pay $10 to see it.
I feel like I am constantly rushing. Rushing to get ready in the morning. Rushing to work. Rushing to get home. Rushing to make dinner. Rush, Rush, Rush. Makes me wish I lived somewhere that things moved at a slower pace. I am not sure where that would be.
My kids actually gave me some decent candy from their Halloween stash this year (I didn't have to steal it). Fun size Snickers, Almond Joy, Milky Ways, etc. And you know what? Fun Size isn't fun at all. It is a one bite rip off.
One of my favorite bloggers made me a compilation of some songs to download from an online link. A mixed online tape, if you will. And I have not had the time to listen to it yet. And I desperately want to. Don't have the time.
I got 4 hours of sleep Saturday night, and have been trying to get the rest of that night's sleep ever since, but I am too busy to nap.
We ran out of milk 2 days ago, but, you guessed it, I haven't had the time to get more.
Tonight my family got 4 free passes to see the preview of "Megamind" in 3D. The 3D effects were excellent. The story was predictable, but good. I laughed and felt sorry for the bad guy too. Definitely a good family movie. I recommend.
Are you related to anyone famous? My husband is first cousins once removed to Neil Sedaka. We invited him to our wedding, but Surprise Surprise, he didn't come. I met him once a very long time ago when he came here on tour. He was just in town this week but we did not see him. He never calls and he never writes, so I am not sure why we should be the ones putting in all the effort just because he's famous.
Today is voting day, which ALL my friends on Facebook reminded me about, all day long. "Vote!", they said. I said "Don't tell me what to do". And I wasn't going to vote this time, because I don't like any of the candidates. But on the way to dinner, my husband wanted to stop and vote and I couldn't tell him no. So I did too. Straight ticket, to make my life easier. I am busy, you know!

Last Minute Halloween

2010-10-31T07:45:00.001-04:00

So you already know that I couldn't get the straightjacket that I wanted to wear for the Halloween party I was going to. So I posted some complaints about it on Facebook and my awesome sister-in-law Hayley called me and offered me one of her costumes to wear. She had a cat, angel wings or butterfly wings. I am allergic to cats, so that was out. Me, dressing as an angel? Give me a break. I don't wear white. So the butterfly wings it was. I decided that I could wear lots of glitter makeup with it, so I was happy.

As I was putting the costume together my husband asked if he should still go as a doctor or not. I thought about it and then it hit me: he could go as a butterfly collector! So he runs out to 3 different Halloween stores and one sporting store to get a safari hat and a butterfly net. He looked great.

In my previous post I complained about Halloween a bit, but what I forgot to mention is my favorite thing about Halloween, which is going out with my friends to a bar each year in costume. It is my girlfriend Dana's birthday at the end of October, so we celebrate each year with her. It has been a tradition for years that we all go out. We will go to a dance club which has a costume contest, so there are always interesting costumes to look at.

After I get a few drinks in me, I go up to strangers and have my picture taken with them. This year was no exception. I'll let the pictures say the rest.

Thoughts and Halloween Hell

2010-10-29T20:33:00.000-04:00

I feel like I am complaining all the time in my writing now. And I hate that. I have many uncompleted posts which I just can't finish and I am not sure why. I have been in a writing funk. I tell myself that I do not "have" to write. I am not under a deadline and I am not getting paid. But the thing is, I want to. I like writing.
What do you do when a friend is hurting? Do you have the words to comfort them? I always find it hard to know what the proper thing to say is. For a death, I hate the cliche's. But if you really didn't know the person who died, then what is there to say? For relationship problems, you must be careful what to say. You don't want to give bad advice and have it come back to haunt you. For health issues, I find it better to listen and try to sympathize. But I end up just feeling useless to my friend. I hate feeling useless.
So I find out the day before the Halloween party I am going to that the straitjacket is not coming. The asshole at http://www.realstraitjackets.com/ promised me in an email after I placed my order that it would be here by Halloween. I called today and he said he hasn't even MADE it yet. I told him I wanted to cancel my order and he laughed and hung up on me. So you know what I am gonna do? File a complaint with PayPal. Then, I am gonna get myself one of those lameandtotallyannoying t-shirts that say "This is my costume". I am in Halloween Hell.
I hate Halloween. Did you know I was once proposed to on Halloween, while trick-or-treating? Yes, this is a true story. I said yes, and broke up with him a month later. I married someone else. Halloween has bad memories for me.
My son was wearing some black skeleton ninja costume today for school. My husband said to him "You look scary". My son replied "I'll take that as a compliment".
We went to a real pumpkin patch this year to pick our pumpkins. I feel a sense of accomplishment when I find a good one. You have to remove the pumpkin from the vine. It is quite fun.
I love carving pumpkins even though I am pretty sure I'm allergic to them. I love feeling the guts of the pumpkin squishing in my hands. I love looking at the pumpkin and finding its face, for every pumpkin has a face, you just need to bring it out.
For those of you out there that actually LIKE Halloween, Happy Hauntings to you!

Black Wine Night

2010-10-28T19:37:00.000-04:00

The Husband and I went with a group of 3 other couples to a Black Wine Night at the local wine bar, Vinotecca. What this is, is a wine tasting paired with gourmet food by candlelight. People wear all black as well.

It was fun. We got there and the event started in a room in the "basement" of the restaurant. There were little cocktail tables and skeletons placed at each table, like they were having a drink. It was a scene out of The Twilight Zone. It was lit by candles and red lights. We started with a sample of wine, cheese & crackers.

Then we were seated in another room. The only lights were candles, so it was pretty dark. There were 5 different courses, and with each course a different wine sample was poured. But you didn't know what wine it was. It was in a black cup. They gave you a sheet to keep track of the wines you sampled with your guess as to what kind of wine it was. About all I could tell is if a wine was white or red.

It wasn't too crowded. The food was excellent. I got a bit tipsy on the wine.

They gave us a menu of what we were eating so we'd know what to expect. First course was a lobster enchilada. It was spicy but very good. Honestly I didn't taste the lobster. Second was duck consumme'. It had shitake mushrooms in it but no duck. The broth was a bit greasy. Third was sea bass, which was my favorite dish. It melted like butter in your mouth. Fourth was a lamp chop on top of something like an over sized tater tot. It was challenging eating the chop in the dark because of the bone. For desert there was a chocolate banana torte thing.

I have to say it was like an adventure to eat that way. They do it every year around Halloween. I'll toast to that!

"Me" Time

2010-10-26T19:33:00.000-04:00

So my husband tells me recently that he thinks the reason I am in a funk is because I have lost "me". I am not the person I was when we met...I have evolved into fiance', wife, mother...and have lost myself along the way.

That's one way to look at it. I think people change as their roles change. But it is true, I have no "me" time anymore. And sitting on the couch drinking wine doesn't count.

I don't have a real hobby (except blogging, which I am not even good at). I have no spare time. I am the kind of person who, when I have an extra 1/2 hour to kill, will find something to clean up in the house (or take a nap). Neither of which contribute to "me" time.

So you ask, what would I like to do, if given the time? I would go roller skating or shopping at the mall. I would read a book. I would put all those old photos into a photo album. I would go swimming. I may go to an open mike night at the comedy club. I would go dancing by myself. I would take a pole dancing class. I would go outside on a nature hike and take pictures. I would ride a bike. So many things. Not enough time.

Am I the same person as I was 10 or 15 years ago? No, I'm not. I hope I am a better person. I hope that my experiences have changed me for the better and made me wiser. Some days though, I just feel stupid.

I keep thinking that maybe I'll have some "me" time when the kids go off to college. I can wait patiently until then.

Waiting.

Still waiting.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Thoughts from Intense Auburn

2010-10-20T19:33:00.002-04:00

I have noticed that people are smoking in their cars more these days. I am sure it has nothing to do with the "no smoking in public places" ban that was enacted earlier this year in Michigan.
What good are electrical fences to keep your dog in your yard, when my kid can run onto your property and get attacked by that dog anyways? Seems like a trap to me. A false sense of security.
In this age of On Demand, Tivo and DVR's, it's amazing that people still watch commercials. I haven't watched a commercial in over a year. Why would politicians waste their campaign money on TV commercials when they could buy more of those fancy signs to put on the side of the road instead? Don't they realize that I fast-forward through their attack ad anyways? But when I am stuck at a red light, there is nothing else to look at except people smoking in their cars and the political signs.
Sometimes my I blog wonder is if the subliminal best messages really work or is it a big hoax?
I like the phrase "curiosity killed the cat". However it seems to me that something else killed the cat, like a sharp knife or getting crushed by a car.
Why do people like making Top 10 lists? Here are the top 10 reasons I can think of:
The only tea party I want to be invited to is one where my 6 year old niece is hostess.
I have discovered that it is indeed possible to fall in love...with a cake. My friend Olga makes the most beautiful cakes I have ever seen in my life.
Why does it seem like whenever I happen to get some "found money", that I also encounter unexpected expenses? It's like fate is saying "no, you can't enjoy that money. It belongs to someone else".

Living a Life Online

2010-10-18T19:03:00.001-04:00

If you are reading this, you are online. You are not doing something else. We all live a part of our lives online. The question is how much is too much?

The other night I was out with my husband on a date night. The kids were sleeping out. We were having a great time. We went to see Louis CK at the Detroit Opera House. While we were waiting for the show to start, husband was on his Smartphone doing lord-knows-what. I didn't really care, because I was people watching and didn't have anything to talk about anyways. After the show, we went to a bar and ordered a beer. I went to the bathroom and when I came back, out was the Smartphone again and he was typing something. I gave him a dirty look and said, "We are on a date, put it away". He did.

Maybe I am a hypocrite. I know darn well that if I had a Smartphone, I'd be updating Facebook every 10 minutes, no matter where I was and whom I was with. But isn't that just plain rude? When you are with someone else and using your cellphone, aren't you telling the person that your online life is more important than they are? Are you avoiding your current reality?

Personal interaction is going the way of the dinosaurs. Even our children prefer to text each other than have a face-to-face playdate. We let our answering machines answer the phone rather than get it ourselves. We interact with our computers more than our families.

I wish I knew what the correct balance was between technological communication and human interaction. I wish I could explain to my son who loves to text his friends that playing outside with them is more important. But my screaming is no match for an iTouch. There is no contest. I always lose.

What's been on my mind?

2010-10-17T19:06:00.003-04:00

I haven't posted much lately. I've been busy, and can't quite finish all those drafts I started. But here are some tidbits that have been on my mind:

Facebook is like a soap opera to me. I get caught up with the "characters" that I am friends with. Even those whom I have not met yet, I follow closely. I want to know if they got that job, if they are getting over their cold OK, if they are still single or in a relationship. And I hate cliff-hangers, and being defriended without a reason. I think if a person chooses to defriend you, there should be a notification sent to you with the reason. Such as "Jane Doe defriended you because she didn't like your snarky jokes".
Each year it seems like Halloween is more of a burden than fun. The kids are old enough to pick out their own costumes, and you have to get the exact right one or they won't wear it. Plus the kids have a meltdown if they don't get enough candy in their bags. I want to slap them and tell them they are lucky to get any at all.
And for me, I never know what to wear for Halloween. I always want to get a perfect "couples" costume for husband and I to wear. I usually wait until the day of to put something together. But this year, I was struck by inspiration. I am going as a psych ward patient, in a straitjacket. I ordered one online and can't wait to ~~use it~~ wear it. Husband is going to be a psychiatrist.
There have been a lot of people on Facebook who have asked me to "pray for them". Sometimes it is their family member, or their dog, or someone they are friends with. I don't pray. Even at temple, I kinda mumble the prayers and I don't feel them in my heart. So, Facebook friends, I won't pray for you or your loved ones. But I will think of you and send positive vibes your way. I think that is worth something.
I really got into Twitter for about a week. Now I am over it. I just don't get it. And most people that I follow aren't friends, so why bother? Plus Twitter just changed its format and now it is harder to use.
I have been in an 80's music streak lately. It just makes me happy. Although I was unhappy for much of the 80's, I still get a lift from the music.
I am not into sports. But I love to watch my son play soccer. I will cheer, yell, jump up and down, and act like a sports nut at one of his games. And the best part is that soccer is a relatively easy game to understand. I know when the ref has made a bad call or when a player screws up. I am kinda proud of myself for knowing this.

I Love Jim Benton!

2010-10-11T07:34:00.000-04:00

Yes I am declaring my love for someone other than my husband. Jim Benton is the creator of my cartoon self, Happy Bunny, as well as the children book series "Dear Dumb Diary" and "Franny K. Stein".

I somehow found Jim on Facebook a while ago and friend requested him. He accepted. I jumped up and down for joy. I comment and "like" his status updates daily. Basically I stalk him. But in a good way.

So a few weeks ago he puts on Facebook that he is holding a contest to give away 3 drawings to lucky Facebook friends. I entered the contest, which was just to comment which drawing I would want, and crossed my fingers. A week later I found out that I had won. I jumped up and down for joy.

The other day I got a big envelope in the mail. I carefully opened it. Then when I saw what was inside, I screamed, and jumped up and down for joy. Here's what Jim Benton sent me:

Why I Need a Personal Assistant

2010-10-07T18:59:00.002-04:00

I have been thinking lately that it is unfair that many people have personal assistants and I don't. I mean, just because I am not rich or famous, I should still have someone at my beck-and-call 24/7, shouldn't I? Don't I deserve it?

Then I daydream about my personal assistant and what he (yes, HE) would do for me. Here are just a few things:

Bring me Pina Colada's and Starbuck's (wearing nothing but jeans).
Do my dry cleaning.
Update my Twitter.
Grocery shop.
Cook dinner.
Fold laundry and put it away.
Wash my car outside and detail it inside.
Tell me how good I look at least 3x a day.
Brush my hair and style it for me.
Back massages whenever I want.
Foot massage at the end of the day.
Do homework with my kids.
Download music I like off iTunes for my iPod.
Chauffeur me around. And take the kids to their specials.
Remind me of important meetings.

I am sure there are many more things he could do for me. But I won't go there in this blog.

If you would like to apply for this position, which doesn't pay well, please forward me your resume and some photos.

My Top 10 Scary Movies

2010-10-05T19:30:00.003-04:00

I've tried to write top 10 lists before, but never really succeed. Well, being that I am the "Queen of Halloween", here are my top 10 movies that have scared the living bejeebies out of me:

10. Amityville Horror ---I still haven't watched the entire movie, it's that scary.

9. The Thing (John Carpenter)---It just pops out at ya.

8. Alien---That is some nasty.

7. Jaws---I won't go into the ocean anymore. Really.

6. The Exorcist---I believe there is a little bit of the devil in all of us, just not that much...

5. Nightmare on Elm Street---Claws and scars and furnaces, oh my!!!

4. Halloween (John Carpenter)---I love a man in a mask.

3. The Blair Witch Project--- I still won't go into the woods alone.

2. Event Horizon---A spacecraft stranded in the middle of nowhere with a hitchhiker on board, you know that's bad.

1. My wedding video.

What movie still gives you nightmares?

Why I Hate Kid Rock

2010-10-04T19:35:00.002-04:00

I can't stand Kid Rock or his music. Every time his single "All Summer Long" comes on the radio I want to vomit. If I am with my husband, who likes the song, I am forced to listen to it. And die a little inside.

My husband knows of my dislike of Kid Rock. We recently got into an argument about why I hate him so much. I told him I'd blog about it.

He associates himself with Detroit, but doesn't live there. He reportedly is building a house up north.
We already have a white rapper. His name is Eminem. And he is also from Detroit.
Kid Rock is ugly as hell.
Kid Rock wasn't famous until he started dating Pamela Anderson. His relationship with her catapulted him into stardom.
His lyrics are stupid, i.e. "We were trying different things, we were smoking funny things". Wow, his powers of description are just unbelievable, right?
His voice is grueling.
He supposedly gives a lot of money to charities, but he hasn't given to the charity I work for yet, so it doesn't count.

If I were given free tickets to one of his concerts, I'd burn them. I'd rather experience Chinese water torture.

Let's hope his 15 minutes of fame ends soon so I don't have to hear his music anymore.

How Far for Beauty?

2010-10-03T19:42:00.017-04:00

In a world already obsessed with the outer beauty of a woman, here comes the mother of all reality shows: "Bridalplasty,” where brides-to-be compete in wedding-themed challenges to win extensive surgical procedures. I first heard about this idea from my friend Frank at his blog. My first reaction to the idea was that it was sick.

I am not a person who would ever have cosmetic surgery done to herself. Am I completely happy with my body image? Hellz no! But I am of the thought that I was born this way for a reason. Do I criticize other people for having cosmetic surgery? No. Live and let make mistakes. I will admit, that when I see a really ugly woman who is single, I say to myself "now she could really use an Extreme Makeover."

Back to the show. Basically, what the producers are trying to say is that a woman can't get married until she is perfect on the outside. Think about it---they give women all kinds of cosmetic procedures (nose jobs, tummy tucks, liposuction, breast augmentation, etc) so that they can look perfect for a man on their wedding day. This totally discounts any feelings of love the man may have for the woman. It places all importance on looks. And we wonder why our 7 year old girls go out in public in mini skirts, makeup and heels?

I hope that society will have enough sense not to watch this show. But I know they will...just look at the popularity of other shows that focus on looks like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.

I am just waiting for the networks to call me for my own TV reality show, "Tales of an ordinary woman trying to make it in the blogosphere".

A Poem about Envy

2010-09-28T19:52:00.002-04:00

She has something I want

but I won't take it from her

She is nice and sweet and pretty

and she has her hands on you

She has something I want

it is with envy that I gaze at her

she is no better a person than I am

yet she has it all and I have none

She has something I want

with her long blond hair and blue eyes

she has hypnotized you to love her

and she won't let me break the spell

She has something I want

and I will never be as lucky as her

to hold you in my arms and kiss you

and know that you love me more

The Social Network

2010-09-27T20:52:00.000-04:00

The movie "The Social Network" is coming out this Friday. I really want to go see it with a bunch of my Facebook peeps. I mean, that would only be appropriate, right? For once, all our status's would be the same "at movie theatre eating popcorn".

Please read a review of the movie by my friend Liz here.

Construction & Traffic Pet-Peeves

2010-09-22T19:45:00.002-04:00

There is a joke that in Michigan there are 2 seasons: Cold and Construction (something like that). I have found that to be very true. Honestly, though, road construction never much bothered me until it hit the roads I travel for work, and now it takes me 30 more minutes to get there each morning.

Here are some pet-peeves for you, c/o Michigan Department of Transportation (MDOT).

In a construction zone I see a "Be Prepared to Stop" sign. Uhhhh, shouldn't you always be prepared to stop, whether you are in a construction zone or not?
When someone honks at you for non reason. That happened to me today. I was standing still in traffic, nowhere to go, when the idiot behind me honks. Where did she want me to go? I don't own a Batmobile!
When there is construction on a mile or more stretch of road (i.e. Telegraph Road between 12 & 13 Mile) with no turn-around open. What? I have to go over one mile out of my way to turn around? That is crazy and a big waste of my time.
It pisses me off to see lanes closed for construction with no sign of active construction going on nearby. MDOT just thought they'd close a lane to fuck with us, right? Why don't they hire some of the unemployed folks who need a job to get those roads fixed sooner?
When I am in the left lane on the highway and someone is tailing me, so I get over. Then they don't pass me.
People who are slow to merge onto the highway and you have to break to let them in. That's an accident waiting to happen!
I was behind a school bus this morning that was picking up kids on a traffic-filled, busy, main road. I had to stop each time the bus did. And wait. I don't know what the school was thinking, but having kids wait on a main street for a bus seems pretty dangerous to me. And it made me late for work.

BONUS PET-PEEVE:

People who get on the elevator before you get off. Some stupid woman almost spilled her drink and lunch on me as she was practically running me over getting into the elevator as I was exiting. Actually, I wish she had spilled it. Would've served her right.

What he wrote for me...made me cry:

2010-09-21T16:51:00.002-04:00

Such a beautiful painting, the brush strokes and color are just amazing. The person in the painting is just beautiful.

I put the painting in a frame. It is a very pretty frame; it brings out the smile and laughter of the person in the painting, making them even more beautiful. Somehow it adds so much to the painting.

After a while I put that painting in another frame, but I am going to leave the first one there as well. This second frame is a one of a kind frame. It is elaborately handcrafted with Celtic symbols and other carvings; somehow it works so well with the original frame and the painting. It brings out the love, caring and passion of the person in the painting making them even more beautiful, even breath taking.

The painting is so entwined with the frames now; while the frames enhance the painting; All I see when I look at the painting is the painting itself, I only notice the frames when I want to look at them.

The painting is my first vision of you.

The first frame has writing in it that changed a little over time from girlfriend to fiancé to wife.

The second frame, the one so delicately and elaborately handcrafted has little cherubs flying around the Celtic symbol for motherhood and through the letters
M – O – T – H – E – R.

While these “frames” that are around you, they do not define you, they enhance you.

A Happy Post (Kisses and Hugs)

2010-09-20T21:15:00.000-04:00

Things can make me happy, but people can bring me joy.

I love to hug and hold hands. I am demonstrative with people I feel close to. I've never understood why some people are uncomfortable with hugging.

Kissing.

There are different kisses. Romantic kisses with my man. Sweet innocent kisses with my boys. Pecks on the cheek with friends. Blowing kisses to my nieces. All convey my love.

Touching is a way to show your feelings and convey closeness. Touching can provide comfort. Touching can lead to sex. But that is not what I am talking about in this post. Touch can heal. Kisses and hugs are wonderful ways to touch.

I don't touch strangers. You need to be someone special to me, to get a hug or kiss. Unless it is a Hershey's Hug or Kiss, and then you just have to be nice to me to get some.

Twitter and All of Its Mysteries

2010-09-19T19:01:00.004-04:00

I joined Twitter a while ago and never really used it. However, I have been on it more lately.

I never knew what to make of Twitter. It seemed unreal in its simplicity. You type a thought in 140 characters or less and hit "Tweet". That's it, right?

Wrong. There is a whole nother language going on in the twitterverse. A language that I am still learning.

I figured out how to re-tweet something. Also figured out how to reply to someone's post. But within a tweet, there are all kinds of things going on. When I am confused, I ask my co-worker who is half my age, and very knowledgeable about these things. She helps me.

I think people have Twitter parties, although I've never been invited to one. People use hash signs (#) to connect their tweets to others within the same subject matter.

You follow someone and hopefully they'll follow you back. That's how it works (You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours).

Very few people I know are on Twitter. So I follow lots of strangers and celebrities. The way you know the person is a real celebrity and not an impostor is that their account is "Verified" by Twitter. Although I hear many celebs have their assistants do the tweeting for them. Real my ass.

You can create Lists of people whose tweets you want to see in one stream. So I made a list of mommy bloggers. I already had someone ask me to take them off the list. You can see if you are on someone's list unless they make it private. I so desperately want to make a list of "People Whose Tweets Suck". Somehow I think I may lose followers that way.

The best thing about Twitter is that my family is not on it. That way, I don't have to edit my tweets like I do on Facebook. It is very freeing.

In conclusion, please follow me on Twitter. I am @Shondira. Happy Tweets!

Yom Kippur 2010

2010-09-18T07:46:00.003-04:00

It is Yom Kippur again. Time to make amends and say you are sorry to all whom you've wronged.

I recently read a post by Rabbi Jason Miller who said that many Jews are issuing "blanket apologies" via Twitter, Facebook, and other networking sites, to all their friends and family. He questioned the legitimacy of this practice, as do I. An apology is a very personal way to say you are sorry to someone. You cannot send a "shout out" apology to your peeps. It doesn't work like that.

I find it hard to admit when I am wrong. I have a hard time apologizing. But if the person means anything to me, I will do it. Best way is in person, but that is not always possible. Phone is second, email third. I generally don't text. And I won't do it via blog post.

With that being said, I would like to apologize to all my readers for (1) not posting every day, (2) posting videos and (3) anything else I have subconsciously done to offend.

That is all.

My Head is in The Clouds

2010-09-17T07:05:00.000-04:00

My head is up in the air
My thoughts swirl in the wind
The dark clouds have passed

My hands catch the raindrops
My heart beats out of time
The questions have just begun

My body dances in rhythm
My mouth sings the song
The music lifts me to heaven

My fingers hold onto you
My voice tells you to stay
The time for sorry is past

A Mind of Its Own

2010-09-16T22:29:00.000-04:00

So tonight a good friend of mine, and reader of this blog, said to me that all I do is complain in my blog. So I set out to prove him wrong. I was going to write a happy post. All about things that I love and that bring me joy. Then I remembered that I had already written posts about things that bring me joy (here and here). And I couldn't come up with anything new. I have been sitting here in front of the PC for 2 hours trying to come up with a nice, positive post. Nothing felt right. Then I decided to post a picture I took today. And the picture made me write a poem. And you'll see it soon.

This blog has a mind of its own, I tell you.

Gives new meaning to "ghost writer".

Bad Parent Thoughts/Sayings

2010-09-16T08:26:00.002-04:00

Don't make me go to your school for anything. Been there, done that.
No, I can't help you with your homework.
Mommy never learned math or science 'cause she's a girl.
Yes you can play the Wii rather than read tonight.
Forgot your homework at home? Oh well, maybe you'll remember once your teacher gives you an "F".
Wipe your own ass.
The next toy I step on gets thrown out. I don't care how much it cost.
You are 10 years old, so NO, you are not getting a cell phone.
Take only a little sip of my beer. Too much and you'll throw up like daddy.
Mike's Hard Lemonade is just like real lemonade except better.
Make your own damn dinner.
You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. Why do I throw a fit? Because I am the adult, that's why!
Yes, you have to stand in the rain at the bus stop. I am not driving you to school.
No screaming or yelling. That's my job!

...Stay tuned for more later.

Feeling Dumb over a SmartPhone

2010-09-13T18:38:00.002-04:00

I want a Smartphone. I can't afford one. So I get to keep my Dumbphone.

This fact of life doesn't stop me from planning and fantasizing about my new Smartphone. Do I want a Blackberry, a Palm Pre, a Droid or an iPhone? Do I want a full keyboard or touchscreen only? Do I need a large data plan or is the basic AT&T data plan enough for me? Do I really want to leave the Sprint network (I know all the dead spots already!)? I have already decided on all the accessories and add-on's that I may want with my phone also.

I have found myself inside phone stores browsing the selection. I pick up the phone. It feels good in my hand. I try to use a touchscreen. I have no idea what I am doing. I can't get anything to move. I get frustrated, tell myself it is good that I cannot afford this phone, and stomp out of the store in a huff.

When I see someone with a Smartphone I ask them if I can use it. I see what apps they have. Sometimes I find things on their phone that I wish I hadn't found. Strangers have seen me drooling while watching them update their Facebook status from their phone. I get a lot of dirty looks while out in public.

I see people in their cars texting (yeah, still) and I want to be that person. I want the ability to text and drive. Not that I would, of course.

I have contemplated playing the lottery so I could afford a Smartphone and data plan. I passed a store that buys gold jewelry today and thought that if I sold my wedding band, then I could afford my new dream phone. I kept walking. Death by husband is not how I want to die.

Speaking of the husband, he gets a Smartphone free from work. Yes, free. Unlimited everything. I am very jealous. I have been reminding him daily how lucky he is and how unlucky I am. I think that if I keep at him, he will eventually get fed up and find a way to get me a new phone.

Until that blessed day comes, I will make do with my simple little phone. At least I can hear the people on the other end. That counts for something, right?

Bloggers, Allergies and Me.

2010-09-12T19:04:00.003-04:00

There will always be a better blogger.

I recently went to a Michigan Blogger Meet-up. We discussed what we wrote about. I said I wrote about me. Seemed like a lame answer. It made me feel stupid.
One of the bloggers I met is a successful "mommy blogger". She is all over the Internet and knows every other cool mommy blogger. She talked about the number of hits her blog receives on any given day. It made me feel insignificant since mine gets about 1/100th of the hits her does. And the funny thing is, she writes about many of the same things that I do. She just does it better. Or more often, I don't know.
The bloggers had little business cards they were exchanging with each other. I just had a pen. "Here, let me write my URL on your hand so you won't forget it". Lame.
There were many real estate people at the meet-up as well. I didn't quite understand why they were there. Do they really have blogs, or were they just social networking? Will they write up a post about the idiot who bought the broken-down-piece-of-crap they were selling?

Can someone be allergic to an antihistamine?

My sons allergies have been killing him all summer. I took him to his allergist who diagnosed him with a sinus infection and put him on antibiotics. His cough still persisted. Lately though, his nose has been so congested that I thought the sinus infection had come back. But instead of taking him to the allergist, who I feel is worse than a traveling medicine man, I took him to the pediatrician.
She examined him and said that it was allergies that were causing all of his symptoms. I told her that all of the medications that the allergist had tried have not worked.
She was very knowledgeable about allergies. She completely changed his meds and we'll give them a week to see if they work. I am crossing my fingers and wincing each time he sneezes. I don't want him to have to get shots like I did.

A back-handed compliment is still a compliment, right?

I don't like to say mean things to people. So I try and make it sound like I am giving them a compliment, when really, I am insulting them. This works well with family members.
"You look nice with make-up on".
"That haircut makes you look a lot younger".
"Most of your blog posts really suck, but this one is well-written!"
"Is this a new recipe for that meatloaf or did you buy it at the store?"
"Wow, you have really lost a ton of weight!"
"Your house seems cleaner than normal. Did the maid come today?"

September- David Sylvian

2010-09-11T21:37:00.002-04:00

Are you Chicken?

2010-09-02T19:22:00.000-04:00

My Grandmother would always complain about eating chicken. She would say that she was sick and tired of it, and they always served it at the senior living center where she lived. I thought that she complained for no reason. I mean, who doesn't like chicken?

Well, now I am eating my words. 40 years of eating chicken and I am sick and tired of it. I can just imagine being 90 and still eating chicken. Oh the torture!

But you say, there are many different ways to prepare a chicken so that you don't get sick of it. You can use a rub (heh heh I said rub) or a sauce, or bake it or grill it or broast it or poach it. Yes this is true. But do I look like a gourmet chef to you? I put some seasonings on it and throw it in the oven. Or I might Shake and Bake it. But that is the extent of my culinary mastery.

So I am sick of chicken. I don't want to eat more meat. I don't like pork (and not because I'm Jewish), and lamb is too expensive. I don't eat much fish either.

I think I'll go vegetarian. You can't get sick of vegetables, right? RIGHT?

Evolution of a Video Game Addict

2010-09-01T20:45:00.001-04:00

My kids play the Wii. I don't.

They kept asking me to play James Bond Quantum of Solace with them.

I told them to play each other. They told me they wanted to kick my butt in the game. Niice.

I told them I was too tired.

They asked the next day.

I said no.

They asked why.

I said that I don't like to play video games.

I said that I didn't know how to play.

They said it would be fun. They would teach me.

I said I had to make dinner.

Next day they asked again.

They said that since I wasn't tired I could play.

I couldn't say no any longer.

I reluctantly went into the game room.

They handed me the Wii remote and numchuck.

I looked at them blankly.

My son said press A to do this, B to to that, C to do this and Z to do this.

It went in one ear and out the other.

The game began. We were on teams.

I figured out how to move my person.

I got killed.

I moved through the game, not killing anyone.

Somehow my team won (without help from me, as my son pointed out).

Game over.

Game 2 started.

It was every player for themselves.

I moved around and finally realized that the button I was pushing was not the shooting button.

My son told me to push another button.

I started shooting.

OH MY GOD I just shot someone.

And another.

And I was hooked.

I had it figured out.

And I was gonna kick some kids ass.

Just called me Intense Game Addict.

Intense Auburn

I Don't Drink....Wine....

Your Phone Tastes Bitter

The Bet

New Post/New Year

Real Steel!!!

Random Thoughts

Fall T.V. Review

Status Updates 9/24/11- 9/25/11

Facebook Has Made me a Lurker!

Google+

Status Updates

What?

Do I look like a Doctor to you?

That's Why They Call It That!

Hot as Hell!

Heaven knows I want to die now...

The Smiths United

Out of sight

Tales from Camp

give me sympathy

Empty Nest!

In a Linkin Park Kinda Mood

My Music Man

No, I'm not Negative. I was Just Born This Way.

Some Random Crap

mmmmm Flemings!

What he wrote, made me cry...

20/20

Why Not Complain About It?

Finally a Psychiatrist who Tells It Like It Is!

That Could Have Been Me!

The Color on the Box was Wrong

Beware Cantina Diablo!

Finding the Holy Grail of Shoes

March Right in and Complain

The Wizard of Oz

People Pissing Me Off!!

Losing It (and not in the cool Eminem way)

Pet-Peeves!

Snowy Day Thoughts

The Tooth Fairy Strikes (Out) Again

It is going.

2 Weeks

Cold!

Masochistic or Sadistic?

sadistic

Thomas Edison Day?

How Young is Too Young for Playboy?

As one of my FB friends commented "Tell him if he works hard in school and makes a lot of money and starts his own magazine, one day when he's 82, he can still land a 22 year-old hottie better than his son and grandson can". I can't argue with that logic.

A Tattoo In Pictures

What an Allergy Looks Like

Letting the Inner Freak Out

Funny Status Updates

Hey Mother Nature.........it wasn't a Snow Job I asked for.

Checked into the hotel and said to the desk clerk, "I hope the porn channel on my TV is disabled." "No sir," said the clerk, “it’s just ordinary porn, you sick bastard.”

With all the shit that goes down in Gotham city, why the fuck do people still live there?

One day the Duck was about to cross the road. Then the Chicken stopped him and said "Don't do it man, You'll never hear the end of it..."

Bought some albums tonight - classic vinyl. I was turning away from the counter and the clerk says "here!," and hands me the receipt - which says, of course - "Keep This For Your Records."

‎- Just wondering... You know how most packages say "Open here". What's the protocol if the package says "Open there"???

Garage door has decided it wants to stay part way up. Hoping it doesn't last more than four hours...

Drove young buck to his work after his tire went flat and he needed a ride. He thought I was only 26 years old. But then when I told him my age, he told me I'm the same age as his mom. Then he gave me his business card and phone number. I don't know whether I love or hate him.

I just want to live in a society where people don't try to tell others what to do all the time. If you agree with me, copy this to your status and Twitter account. Also go spray paint it on your garage door and get it tattooed on your left butt.

"That's a pretty little beard-scrunchie you got there.""Nice muumuu"---exchange overheard at the last meeting of Voldemort and Dumbledore

Dear Santa,I'm not going to even pretend I was good this year, so I'm really hoping you were entertained by my antics.Love,...A

Message me the numbers on the front of your credit card, your expiration date and security code (the 3 or 4 numbers on the back of your card) and I'll post on here what I bought with your account information.

Excess: (n). An amount that is greater than necessary. See my wife's suitcase for accompanying visual definition.\

I'm starting a drunken brawl with the next person who stereotypes the Irish.

I've stopped fighting my inner-demons....we're on the same side now.

Ya know.....the embarrassing thing about listening to WE ARE THE WORLD on my iPod in public...... is that no one knows why my arms are swaying side to side.

New Year's De-Resolutions, etc.

Nothing is New

Making Someone's Day?

Why I Don't Want a TV

Some days are like this

Gift Ideas for Intense Auburn

Pet-Peeves, Gifts & Shopping (tis the season)

Forbidden Fruit

If it's Black Friday, then What is Thursday?

A Child's Thanks

"That's a pretty little beard-scrunchie you got there."
"Nice muumuu"
---exchange overheard at the last meeting of Voldemort and Dumbledore

Dear Santa,

I'm not going to even pretend I was good this year, so I'm really hoping you were entertained by my antics.

Love,
...A